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< Esato Forum Index > General discussions > Non mobile discussion > Someone's flogging a dead horse on Ebay! Bookmark topic

I know, it was a shame! Ebay had to find out eventually, last time I looked it had had over 6,000 views! For those who didn't finish reading all the questions I took the liberty of sticking them into Notepad, I'll put them below. The auction itself only said 'Dead horse for sale. Email any questions to me'.

Q: Ill offer £1.50 if you cut it up, no bones though.. can we work with that?
13-Sep-05
A: Sorry, I dont get my hands bloody

Q: Is it Australian?
13-Sep-05
A: No, but who is the last person to f*^k an aussie and bring home the Ashes? Paula Yates

Q: Following your sad loss does this make Birmingham a no horse town?
13-Sep-05
A: No, but its still a sh*? hole.

Q: I used to have a horse called treacle... it had Golden Styrups. What was this horse called?
13-Sep-05
A: Jeff

Q: can I put a bet on it to win the grand national, it cant do worse than my normal picks.
13-Sep-05
A: You can i will take all bets..!

Q: Would you consider swapping for an entire Telemarketing office, as the horse would be more use!
13-Sep-05
A: I must decline, i'm sorry but i have one already and I concur

Q: do you know what it mean to a person who lost a horse as friend?!
13-Sep-05
A: Please see necrophilia question previously.

Q: Is the jockey still attached?
13-Sep-05
A: sorry no

Q: Why the long face?
13-Sep-05
A: because i'm a bit of a dark horse

Q: oh my god? is that a joke or what??? i can't belive it!!!!
13-Sep-05
A: you can't be live it 'oooooooo'

Q: or 'down by the Sea'?
13-Sep-05
A: 'ooooooo yeaaaaahhhhh'

Q: Was/ is this horse thouroughbred?
13-Sep-05
A: Twas

Q: how much glue can i make from one horse? by the gallon
13-Sep-05
A: What kind of glue ? Please be more specific.

Q: Did you find it 'Under the Boardwalk'?
13-Sep-05
A: is that you Bruce ?

Q: so i take its brown then ??
13-Sep-05
A: That will be yes

Q: is it Bin Laden ??
13-Sep-05
A: ??

Q: How did the horse die?
13-Sep-05
A: Quietly

Q: Did You find it floating in the Mississippi?
13-Sep-05
A: Well at first i did think it was one of the drifters

Q: Is the whip included?
13-Sep-05
A: Your Gandalf you tell me !

Q: Does it still have it's shoes on?
13-Sep-05
A: Do you wanna buy it or dance with it??

Q: Was the horses name Ruud?
13-Sep-05
A: Err... Why ? Who is this ????

Q: How many hands?
13-Sep-05
A: Two thanks!

Q: Is it deader than Arsenal's chance of winning the league title?
13-Sep-05
A: I believe it is.

Q: Could part ex for my bird ?? and 24 cans of stella ?
13-Sep-05
A: Send a picture, make it 48 and i think we may have a deal.

Q: Luckily I already have some dead sugar lumps. Hi, will the horse fit into my Cleo if I put the back seat down?
13-Sep-05
A: possible a megane but i'm not sure about a cleo

Q: What about two chickens and a goat?
13-Sep-05
A: Two cows and first born son... maybe ....!

Q: Hi, how much is the postage for this item? Also, what is its name?
13-Sep-05
A: Name im afraid is confidential, and it is collection only, sorry.

Q: I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse. I just want the head.
13-Sep-05
A: Hmm. pauly is that you

Q: Would you consider donating to New Orleans? Their ancestors are French....
13-Sep-05
A: I'm not a charity i'm afraid

Q: Would you consider exchanging for a fat bitch, called Lorraine. She's a pain in the ass, but comes in handy for opening beer cans sometimes?
13-Sep-05
A: Please send photos for consideration.

Q: Does the horse come with maggots included or are they available in a separate auction?
13-Sep-05
A: As of yet I have no plans to offer the maggots for sale.

Q: would you exchange for a dead wooly sheep ?
13-Sep-05
A: Already have one but thanks for the offer. May Part Ex for other interesting beast tho'

Q: Have you tried giving it mouth to mouth?
13-Sep-05
A: Erm. No. But you are welcome to come around and try yourself!

Q: Is the horse avaialble for public apperances, childrens fun days? etc.
13-Sep-05
A: Only for the next eight days, as i of coarse cannot speak for the new owners.

Q: Would you mind if I bought it so I could make love to it as im into Necrophilia and iv never tried a horse? I would be the envy of all my friends HAHAHAHAHAHA wind up!!!! you weirdo
13-Sep-05
A: I used to be into necrophilia, until some old c*?t split on me. But I am not willing to let this one go to a bad home, so no you cannot buy it.

Q: Are you sure it's dead? It might just be resting.
13-Sep-05
A: I wouldn't flog a resting horse now would I ?

Q: How many Donner Kebabs can you get from this horse? In your opinion?
13-Sep-05
A: Well if you were to make large kebabs with salad (and cabbage) then you should be able (i think) to make up to 500 kebabs. Without salad 400 and small ones around 650 with or without salad. I hope this helps. Dont forget the chilli sauce.

Q: how long has it been dead?
13-Sep-05
A: well i've been flogging it for over a day now

Q: Any pictures?
13-Sep-05
A: its a horse im selling im not sending you my picture

Q: Is it shergar?
13-Sep-05
A: err no, dont be daft lord lucan has shergar

Q: Hi there. What is the Horses Gender? And how many previous owners? Regards.
13-Sep-05
A: Male with 2 careful owners

Q: Hi, what colour is the horse? Does it have a good pedigree?
13-Sep-05
A: its brown and i dont have any documents but chum have been in contact with a considerable side bid

Q: What colour is it....I also wanted a dead white horse to add to my collection
13-Sep-05
A: Sorry its brown

Q: What colour is it....I also wanted a dead white horse to add to my collection
13-Sep-05
A: Sorry its brown

Q: how long has it been dead? Does it smell yet?
13-Sep-05
A: Well i did smell but of coarse now its dead so it can't

Q: I have just read the following article, do you think this item would be a good substitute? http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1534821.html?menu=
13-Sep-05
A: Very good, I will keep that in mind for the next horse

Q: Hi domshaughnessy, just wondering how fresh the horse is? and as the auction has 8days to go, will it be kept refrigerated/ or in storage? Some pictures would be good. Many thanks, G-west
13-Sep-05
A: Listen im not sending pictures its the horse i am flogging not me. And all precautions will of coarse be taken for storage purposes.

Q: Is this item pre-flogged?
13-Sep-05
A: No. That is what I am currently doing tho'

Q: Why are you floggiing it?
13-Sep-05
A: Because its dead !

Q: Could I ask if you are selling a temporay licence to the dead horse, or are you just flogging it?
13-Sep-05
A: Just flogging it !
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Posted: 2005-09-14 03:21:34
Edit : Quote


thank you so much for posting them questions. my favourite is
Why are you flogging the horse?'
Becuase its dead!!

Did anybody see a listing a few months ago called invitations to a wedding i dont want to go to? that was a really funny one too. the bidding got up to and over 1 million lol and the description was hilarious!
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Posted: 2005-09-14 10:27:47
Edit : Quote


my question was.

Q: Sorry to be a Nag, but....
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Posted: 2005-09-14 10:29:29
Edit : Quote


HA HA

Reminds me of this joke!!...

"Hey Sipho! I have a cow for you for just R500!"

"E yoh, Bongani! I'll take it - you can bring it to me tomorrow!"

The next day:

"Sorry Sipho, but the cow died last night."

"Hauw.. So, ok then. Just give me my money back."

"Sorry Sipho, I did already spent that money.."

"Eish! So, ok then. Just bring me the dead cow." So, Bongani brought the dead cow to Sipho the next morning.

A few weeks later, Bongani bumped into Sipho and asked him what he did with the dead cow: "You won't believe, Bongani! I made a raffle for the cow, and I sold 251 tickets for R5 each! I made a profit of R750! But, I didn't tell anyone the cow was dead.."

"Yoh! And the people they didn't complain?"

"Eish! Only the guy which won! So, I gave him back his R5 and he was happy!"

Sipho is now in parliament..
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Posted: 2005-09-14 10:38:59
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