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A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented
the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took
him to catch them.
- "Not very long," answered the Mexican.
- "But then, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?" asked the
American. The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet
his needs and those of his family.
The American asked:
- "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"
- "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a siesta
with my wife. In the evenings, I go into the village to see my friends,
have
a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs... I have a full life."
The American interrupted:
- "I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you! You should start by
fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With
the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat. With the extra money the
larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on
until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to
a middle man, you can negotiate directly with the processing plants and
maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and
move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York City! From there you can
direct your huge enterprise."
- "How long would that take?" asked the Mexican.
- "Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years," replied the American.
- "And after that?"
- "Afterwards? That's when it gets really interesting," answered the
American, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you can start
selling stocks and make millions!"
- "Millions? Really? And after that?"
- "After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the
coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a
siesta,
and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends."
--
Posted: 2002-06-28 12:31:00
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Traditional Capitalism:
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the
milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION #2 aka The Enron Venture Capitalism
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters
of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a
debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all
four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights
of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman
Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells
the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual
report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you
with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public buys your bull.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size
of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create
clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.
A WELSH CORPORATION
You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute...
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years,
eat once a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows. Both are mad.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for
lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You
count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and
learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another
bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others
for storing them.
A HINDU CORPORATION
You have two cows. You worship them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full
employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who
reported the numbers.
AN ISRAELI CORPORATION
So, there are these two Jewish cows, right? They open a milk factory,
an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights. They send their
calves to Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs people?
--
Posted: 2002-06-28 12:32:00
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I think thats enough for today!! lol
--
Posted: 2002-06-28 12:32:00
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God you have been busy
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Posted: 2002-06-28 16:48:00
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Just a few of the office emails that fly around!
--
Posted: 2002-06-28 17:13:00
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Just a few of the office emails that fly around!
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Posted: 2002-06-28 17:14:00
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That's where I get most of mine from
--
Posted: 2002-06-28 17:18:00
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How do you drown a dumb blonde?
Sellotape a mirror to the bottom of a swimming pool.
Theres the Perfect Man, the Perfect Woman and Santa Claus is a lift, theres a wallet on the floor. Which one picks it up?
The Perfect Man of course, the other two are fairy tales!
Ghandi walked around a lot in his life time yes? So he must have had calloused feet. He was also a highly religious man. And as he didnt eat very often he must have had bad breath.
Does that mean he is a Super Calloused Hedonistic Cursed With Hallitosis?
--
Posted: 2002-06-28 18:57:00
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How do you drown a dumb blonde?
Sellotape a mirror to the bottom of a swimming pool.
Theres the Perfect Man, the Perfect Woman and Santa Claus is a lift, theres a wallet on the floor. Which one picks it up?
The Perfect Man of course, the other two are fairy tales!
Ghandi walked around a lot in his life time yes? So he must have had calloused feet. He was also a highly religious man. And as he didnt eat very often he must have had bad breath.
Does that mean he is a Super Calloused Hedonistic Cursed With Hallitosis?
Whats the difference between pink and purple?
Grip!
Whats 12 inches long and makes women scream all night long?
Cot death!!
--
Posted: 2002-06-28 18:59:00
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Whats the difference between a night with a prostitute and bungee jumping?
Nothing, both cost £45, both last 45 seconds and if the elastic breaks your f**ked!
--
Posted: 2002-06-28 19:02:00
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