>
New Topic
>
Reply<
Esato Forum Index
>
General discussions >
Garbage threads
> Post Your funny Jokes Here
Bookmark topic
Hours of entertainment......this thread owns!
_________________
My friends Nokia blew up in his pocket
Wow 400+ posts....
Need help on mp3 playes
MP3 players
[ This Message was edited by: Twista on 2004-03-28 16:27 ]
[ This Message was edited by: Twista on 2004-03-28 16:32 ]
--
Posted: 2004-03-28 17:08:30
Edit :
Quote
--
Posted: 2004-03-28 17:30:04
Edit :
Quote
The Sex Of A Fly
A woman walked into the kitchen and found her husband walking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Hunting flies," he responded.
"Oh. Killing any?" she asked.
"Yep, three males, two females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked, "How can you tell?"
He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."
--
Posted: 2004-03-29 10:26:01
Edit :
Quote
true dat!!
--
Posted: 2004-03-29 14:45:32
Edit :
Quote
Quote:
On 2004-03-29 14:45:32, soichiro wrote:
true dat!!
Oh ma days...oh ffs..thats one of ma sayings!!!
--
Posted: 2004-03-30 02:33:34
Edit :
Quote
A moral tale...
An old man, a boy and a donkey were going to town. The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked. As they went along they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding.
The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions.
Later, they passed some people that remarked, What a shame, he makes that little boy walk. They then decided they both would walk.
Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So, they both rode the donkey.
Now they passed some people that shamed them by saying how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey. The boy and man said they were probably right, so they decided to carry the donkey.
As they crossed the bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and he fell into the river and drowned.
The moral of the story?
If you try to please everyone, you might as well kiss your ass good-bye.
--
Posted: 2004-03-30 04:51:28
Edit :
Quote
Quote:
On 2004-03-30 04:51:28, shithappens wrote:
If you try to please everyone, you might as well kiss your ass good-bye.
there ya go..... shithappens' word of wisdom
--
Posted: 2004-03-30 17:32:38
Edit :
Quote
A consultant's story
Make a nice cup of coffee and take a break to read this.
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the shepherd:
"If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"
The shepherd looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing flock and calmly answers: "Sure. Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his AT&T cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on the internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
Then the young man opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored.
He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulas. He uploads all of this data via an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the shepherd and says:
“You have exactly 1,586 sheep.”
“That’s right. Well, I guess you can take one of my sheep.” says the shepherd.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then the shepherd says to the young man: “Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my sheep?”
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, “Okay, why not?”
“You’re a consultant.” says the shepherd.
“Wow! That’s correct,” says the yuppie,
“But how did you guess that?”
“No guessing required.” answered the shepherd. “You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew; to a question I never asked; and
you don’t know a crap about my business!!!
.... Now give me back my dog.”
--
Posted: 2004-03-31 11:34:44
Edit :
Quote
being smart is not always a good thing
--
Posted: 2004-03-31 17:16:43
Edit :
Quote
typical middle-eastern joke :
a boy goes to his parents room and finds his father having sex with his mother. the boys then runs off downstairs, after the father finished he goes to check on his mother downstairs and finds his son having sex with her. the father shouts: " WHAT the hell are you doing !!?"
the son replies : " YOU f**k my mother, I f**k yours! "
--
Posted: 2004-03-31 17:32:06
Edit :
Quote
New Topic
Reply
