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Jake Blues Posts: > 500

i was driving along the motorway yesterday when i started feeling tired.
after 10 minutes i arrived at a petrol station so i parked up and decided to have an hours sleep.
after 5 minutes a guy knocks on the window and asks "do you have the time?"
"5.00" i replied.
after 5 minutes, another knock. "do you have the time" another guy said
"5.05" i said.
i got out of the car opened the boot, got out some cardboard and a pen and wrote I DO NOT HAVE THE BLOODY TIME and put it in the window.
i was asleep for 10 minutes when someone knocked on the window and said "its 5.15 ".
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i was in a gay bar yesterday and this guy had the nerve to call me homophobic. thats crazy. i love my house.

[ This Message was edited by: Nature on 2004-11-15 06:13 ]
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Posted: 2004-11-15 07:11:00
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markymodem Posts: 15

Massive Tea towel sale now on......For details contact Mrs Arafat.....
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Posted: 2004-11-15 10:43:01
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kimcheeboi Posts: > 500

ROTFLMAO




that poor bugger
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Posted: 2004-11-15 12:27:00
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Angelgirl Posts: 54

lol....lol...lol....that was a good one Nature keep it up u all
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Posted: 2004-11-15 12:47:56
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markymodem Posts: 15

Its important to keep fit as you get older....My gran started walking 5 miles a day when she was 60. Today she is 97 and we don't know where the hell she is!!!!!
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Posted: 2004-11-15 13:25:13
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blackspot Posts: > 500

An engineer died and was mistakenly brought to hell. Satan happily accepted him and gave him the bluprint of hell. The engineer checked it, went around and inspected everything. After 2 months he was able to put up airconditioning, elevators, and conveyors around hell and everything was great!

An angel came down to visit satan and told him that the engineer was supposed to go to heaven. Satan refused to let him go. The angel told satan that they will sue if the engineer was not sent to heaven right away. Satan smiled and said "Oh yeah, and where will you get your lawyers?"

_________________
resistance is futile.

[ This Message was edited by: blackspot on 2004-11-16 04:42 ]
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Posted: 2004-11-16 05:41:23
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methylated_spirit Posts: > 500

i just got a great deal on ebay...superman costume and a wheelchair for a fiver.
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Posted: 2004-11-16 11:40:12
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kimcheeboi Posts: > 500

hey, have you seen ray charles' house?

Neither has he!
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Posted: 2004-11-16 11:46:00
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methylated_spirit Posts: > 500

Whats the only thing better than winning gold at the special olympics?

Not being a spastic.
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Posted: 2004-11-16 12:04:33
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kimcheeboi Posts: > 500

ok im about to get crucified for these jokes


whats the opposite of christopher reeves?

christopher walken.


what's black and sits at the bottom of the stairs?

christopher reeves after a fire!


did you hear about christopher reeves new movie?

superman gets a parking spot!


how do you stop christopher reeves from moving??

tape his mouth shut


whats the difference between christopher reeves and O.J. simpson??

O.J. walked and reeves got the electric chair


How did terrorists attack the world trade center?

Superman was in a wheelchair


ut a dollar bill underneath your chin, and squirm around like a tard: then ask, "who am I?" ---Christopher Reeves in a strip club----


Why did the little girl fall off the swing?

She had no arms!


stick your tongue out
wiggle it up
wiggle it down
wiggle it to the left
wiggle it to the right
pull it back in your mouth
now you have completed the christopher reeves home work out!


What was MTV's shortest show this year ??

Chris Reeves unplugged


So Christopher Reeves walks into a bar...


what do you have if you push 100 cripples down a hill into the sea?

A damn good laugh!


How did Hellen Keller's mom punish her?

She left the plunger in the toilet.


What is Helen Keller's favorite color?


If Helen Keller fell down in the woods, would she make a sound?


Why can't Helen Keller drive a car?

cause shes a woman.


why didnt Helen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff?

she was wearing mittens.


What does Helen Keller call the closet?
Disneyworld.

Where did helen Keller go when company was over?

Disneyworld.



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Posted: 2004-11-16 12:37:00
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