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on bill gate's wedding night his wife finally discovered why he called his company MICROSOFT
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Posted: 2005-04-24 16:43:34
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tee hee hee
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Posted: 2005-04-24 16:47:04
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hilarious signs
over a gynecologists office "dr jones" at your cervix
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Posted: 2005-04-24 16:53:33
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stupid signs at the airport
"this door should be remained closed at all times"
i would have thought it'd be easier to put a wall there
"warning: this door opens without warning"
HUH??
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Posted: 2005-04-24 16:55:21
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A man gets lost in the forest and is captured by a barbaric tribe. They tie him up and the chief says - "Death or Unga-Bunga ?" Not wishing to die, he says "Unga-Bunga"... immediately 10 towering muscled men sodomize him, The next day given the same choices and still not wishing to die, he says "unga-bunga" again, this time half the tribe make him take it in the back.
Tired and full of pain, he decides death is better than this punishment, so the next day, when given the choice, he says "Death", the chief slowly turns to his tribe and yells "DEATH BY UNGA-BUNGA"
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Posted: 2005-04-24 16:58:15
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Hope i can type out this joke in my first shot, without editing it..
One fine morning a guy wakes up and goes out for a stroll in his backyard, only to find a Big Gorilla sitting right in the middle of his backyard! The gorilla, equally scared on seeing the guy, quickly climbs up onto the tall tree in the backyard.
This guy is in a state of shock, wondering how to get rid of the gorilla up in his tree. So he looks up in the Yellow pages and finds an entry under "Gorilla Removal Service". Without wasting time, he promptly calls up the phone number...
Guy: Help, i'm calling from 32nd avenue street, please send someone over quick, there's a gorilla in my tree!
Person at the service: Sure sir, we will send a gorilla removal expert as soon as possible. Till then stay away from the gorilla and it shouldn't harm you.
Sure enough within 15 minutes a van from the gorilla removal service arrived and the expert stepped out. The guy showed the expert the tree in which the gorilla was hiding. The expert coolly took out the following tools from his bag.
1) A Long Pole
2) Handcuffs
3) A Tiny Dog.
4) A Shotgun
The expert tells the guy that he would require his help for the plan and lays it down as follows:
"I will Climb up onto the tree, and using this long pole i'll constantly poke the gorilla. The Gorilla will lose his balance and fall on the ground. As soon as it hits the ground, this Dog is so trained that it will launch an attack right at the genitals of the gorilla. The gorilla, would instinctively cover his privates with his hands as soon as he sees the dog approaching, and at that very instant you take advantage and slap the handcuffs on the gorilla."
The man, ponders over the plan, impressed by it's apparent simplicity. Then he looks over at the shotgun, and asks the expert - What's that for then? Doesn't that fit into the plan?
The expert replies: "Oh yeah, if i happen to fall down before the gorilla does, please shoot the damn dog!"
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Posted: 2005-04-25 06:05:09
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One day in the 1st grade, Little Susie stands up in class and says, "Teacher, may i ask you a question?"
The Teacher says, "Of course Susie, go ahead"
Susie asks, "Teacher can my mother get pregnant?" The teacher wonders now why would she ask such a quesion but nevertheless replies, "Susie, how old is your mother?"
Susie: "She's 35 years old"
Teacher: "Of course she can get pregnant Susie."
Susie sits down and the teacher resumes teaching her class.
After 5 min susie gets up again and asks, "Teacher Can i ask you another question?"
Teacher: "Sure Susie"
Susie: "Teacher, can my elder sister get pregnant?"
Teacher: "How old is she?"
Susie: "She is 18 years old"
Eager to satisfy this small girl's innocent curiosity, the teacher gladly replies, "Yes Susie, your sister can get pregnant"
After a while Susie yet again stands up and asks, "Teacher, one last question, Can i get pregnant?"
The teacher, though slightly taken aback, maintains her cool and asks susie "How old are you dear?"
Susie replies "Teacher I'm 6 years old"
The teacher replies, "No, Susie dear, you cannot get pregnant dear."
Susie then says "Thank you teacher" and sits down while the teacher resumes her class..
As soon as she sits down, Little Johnny leans over and whispers in her ear, "See, i TOLD you nothing would happen".
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Posted: 2005-05-05 07:37:48
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I once had one 2 one with a VIRGIN, she teased me till i had an ERICSSON, sucked me till my face went ORANGE, till i busted my SIEMEN all over her NOKIAS!!
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Posted: 2005-05-06 09:35:00
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Dawn French has been arrested 4 possesion of hard drugs, she went through customs with no knickers on... Fell over & exposed 40 lbs of crack.
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Posted: 2005-05-11 08:17:00
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@ nature:
Ughhhh ... bad images.
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Posted: 2005-05-11 16:58:38
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