>
New Topic
>
Reply<
Esato Forum Index
>
General discussions >
Garbage threads
> Post Your funny Jokes Here
Bookmark topic
Who wouldnt? they were great
--
Posted: 2007-08-02 18:42:10
Edit :
Quote
no offence here
There is legend that goes like this: In a bar in New York there’s a magical mirror. If you go up to it and tell it the truth it will grant you one wish… but if you lie - POOF! - it swallows you up for eternity.
A brunette, redhead, and a blonde walk into that very bar - with a mission. They head straight for the magic mirror. The redhead goes first and says “I think I’m the most beautiful woman on Earth” POOF! - the mirror swallows her up and she’s gone for eternity.
The brunette goes up to the mirror and says “I think I’m the sexiest woman on Earth” POOF - now she’s gone too.
Lastly, the blonde goes up to the mirror says ” I think……..” - POOF!
----------------------------------------------------------------
Little Johnny’s teacher got up in front of the class and announced they were going to play a guessing game! The teacher said, “I have something behind my back. It’s red in color and round. It’s soft, but it’s hard.”
Johnny raised his hand and said, “I know, it’s a red rubber ball.” The teacher said, “No Johnny, it’s an apple, but I like the way that you think.”
The teacher grabbed another object and put it behind her back. “I have something behind my back. It’s orange in color and round. It’s soft, but it’s hard,” said Johnny’s teacher.
Johnny raised his hand again and said, “Teacher teacher, I know, it’s an orange rubber ball.” The teacher looked at Johnny and said, “No Johnny, it’s an orange, but I like the way that you think.”
Johnny was now getting the hang of it so he asked the teacher if he could try one. Johnny grabbed an object and put it behind his back and said, “I have something behind my back. It’s pink in color and it’s loooong. It’s soft, but it’s haaaard.”
The teacher, getting upset, yelled at Johnny, “Now Johnny, I’m going to have to tell the principal about this perverted behavior.” Johnny stopped her and said, “But, teacher, all I have is my pink eraser - but I like the way you think!”
_________________
don't click here
Are you mad at me? If not, press Alt+F4
i've got a photographic memory - it's too bad i dont have any film
it's not enough to succeed, others must fail
[ This Message was edited by: paul101 on 2007-08-02 20:38 ]
--
Posted: 2007-08-02 21:35:18
Edit :
Quote
lmao thats is one of the funniest blond jokes ive heard.
I have joke to make yes.
knock knock
Who is there?
HAHA
HAHA who?
HU HE HAHA
Its not funny at all but my cousin finds it hilarious for some reason. Tell me if anyone else does!
--
Posted: 2007-08-02 21:41:04
Edit :
Quote
Man walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm.
His wife is lying in bed reading.
Man says, "This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache."
Wife replies, "I think you'll find that is a sheep."
Man replies, "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep."
-------------------
Why are Chavs like Slinkies?
They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of stairs.
-------------------
A Scouser inadvertently goes into a gay bar for a beer. He sits at the bar supping his pint when one gay gentleman decides to chance his luck. He approaches the Scouser and whispers something into his ear, whereupon the Liverpudlian turns around in complete disgust and horror and proceeds to punch the life out of the homosexual, fist after fist punching him out the door, kicking him across the pub car park, relentlessly punching and kicking until the victim lay comatose. The Scouser then dusted himself down and calmly returned to his pint at the bar, whilst the horrified staff and clientèle stood silent and motionless.
Eventually, the barman plucks up the courage to ask what had happened:
Barman: "Bloody hell mate. What on earth did he whisper to you?"
Scouser: "Dunno, but it was something about a 'job'"
------------------------
I just saw that Harry Potter film. A bit unrealistic if you ask me. I mean a ginger kid, with two friends?
------------------------
A boy comes home from primary school one day. His mother notices that he's got a big smile on his face. She asks, "You look happy, did anything special happen at school today?"
"Yes mum - I had sex with my English teacher!" he replied.
The mother is stunned. "Get up them stairs now and wait until your father gets home!"
The dad comes home and hears the news; he's as pleased as punch. Beaming with pride, he walks over to his son and says, "I hear you had sex with your English teacher."
"That's right, Dad."
"Well, you became a man today - this is a cause for celebration. Let's get fish and chips, then I'll buy you that bike you've been asking for."
"Mint! - but I can I have a football instead? My arse is killing me."
--
Posted: 2007-08-02 22:01:48
Edit :
Quote
Three pregnant woman are each knitting a jumper for their unborn child, the first woman says" I hope I have a wee boy as i'm using blue wool", the second turns and says"I'm using pink wool so I would like a wee girl", the thrid woman turn and says" I want mine to be a spastic as iv'e f**ked up the arms"
--
Posted: 2007-08-03 14:15:44
Edit :
Quote
Why are black men so tall?
Because there knee grows
--
Posted: 2007-08-03 15:28:12
Edit :
Quote
Will be offensive to a lot of people
Why did Hitler commit suicide?
He seen the size of his gas bill!
[ This Message was edited by: msmmsm on 2007-08-03 15:01 ]
--
Posted: 2007-08-03 15:59:35
Edit :
Quote
Pinocio comes to the doctor and tells him he has a problem, every time he has sex with his girlfriend she has splinters. The doctor says:" maybe it would be usefull to use sandpaper first" Pinocio thinks about it and he will try this.
A few weeks later the doctor meets Pinocio in the supermarket. The doctor asks him if everythings allright with the girlfriend. Pinocio answers:" Girlfriend? Who needs a girlfriend when you have sandpaper".
--
Posted: 2007-08-05 13:08:39
Edit :
Quote
Please i want fun jokers in french languge beaucose i dnt understaned english wel
This message was posted from a myV-55
--
Posted: 2007-08-09 15:24:28
Edit :
Quote
A Welshman, an Englishman and an Irishman were being chased by Farmer Giles with a shotgun. After 10 minutes of running, they spotted a barn and ran inside.
Once inside, they each hid in an old sack against the barn wall. The farmer went into the barn but did not see where they went, he was about to turn back when he saw three suspicious looking sacks. He walked forward and prodded the first sack with his gun. The Englishman inside said... ''Meow'.'
"Just cats," he thought.
He then prodded the second sack. The Welshman, hearing how the Englishman got off said... ''Woof'.'
"Just dogs," he thought.
As he walked towards the last sack, the Irishman worked out what he was going to say. As soon as the farmer prodded his sack, he said... ''Potatoes!''
--
Posted: 2007-08-09 15:58:11
Edit :
Quote
New Topic
Reply
