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@loco-uk.... good one....
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Posted: 2007-10-28 22:33:18
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A man walks into a bar...
Ouch.
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Posted: 2007-10-28 22:39:55
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Here are some funny ones I got in my email, enjoy!
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Posted: 2007-10-29 14:23:58
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Why men lie
One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above river,
his axe fell into the river.
When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?"
The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water,
and he needed the axe to make his living.
The Lord went down in the water and reappeared with a golden axe.
"Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.
The woodcutter replied, "No."
The Lord again went down and came up with a silver axe.
"Is this your axe?"the Lord asked.
Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."
The Lord went down again and came up with an iron axe.
"Is this your axe?"the Lord asked.
"Yes", he replied.
The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all
three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.
Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the
riverbank, and his wife fell into the river.
When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him,
"Why are you crying?"
"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"
The Lord went down into the water and came up with Jennifer Lopez.
"Is this your wife?" the Lord asked.
"Yes," cried the woodcutter.
The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"
The woodcutter fell to his knees and cried, "Oh, forgive me, Lord. It is
a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to Jennifer Lopez, You
would have come up with Catherine Zeta-Jones. Then if I also said 'no' to
her, you would have come up with my wife. Had I then said 'yes,' you would
have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care
of all three wives, and I love my wife such that I don't want her to share
me with anyone, so THAT'S why I said yes to Jennifer Lopez."
The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and
honourable reason, and for the benefit of others.. MOSTLY his wife!
That's our story, and we're sticking to it..
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Posted: 2007-11-01 11:59:29
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@goldenface, good one!
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Posted: 2007-11-01 13:29:33
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amen to that!
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Posted: 2007-11-01 19:02:14
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This is preety childish but some made me laugh!
Yo mama is so fat ...
she has to use a king size mattress as a tampon!
she stood on the scales and it said one at a time.
she fell in the Grand Canyon and got stuck.
she was walking to Wal-Mart, stumbled over K-Mart, and landed right on Target!
when she puts on a yellow raincoat people shout TAXI!
if she fell into the ocean, the whales would start singing, "We are family"!
she thought that the titanic was a jetski!
if she stood on high heels she'd strike oil.
she sat on a Nintendo Gamecube and it turned into a gameboy.
NASA plan to use her to shore up the hole in the Ozone layer.
she was measured at 38-26-36 and that was just the left arm.
when she went to the Zoo, Elephants began throwing peanuts at her.
when she farted she launched herself into orbit.
she lost a game at Hide&Seek only cos I spotted her...behind Mount Everest.
she could be the eighth continent.
the only thing that's attracted to her is gravity.
she wears an 'X' jacket and helicopters attempt to land on her.
she shows up on radar.
she needs a map to find her butt.
stunt agencies use her as an air mattress.
she got a new gig at the Cinema...she works as the screen
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Posted: 2007-11-01 19:16:23
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Muhammad-Oli Posts: > 500
Why was Piglet in the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh.
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Posted: 2007-11-06 10:32:53
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This made me laugh...
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Posted: 2007-11-12 19:57:50
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Posted: 2007-11-13 12:00:37
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