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On 2006-08-23 15:28:12, Keels wrote:
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On 2006-08-23 15:21:02, bulti48 wrote:
I would suspect that this is not the first time you have been suspicious of your boyfriend? I maybe wrong.
If events in the past have led you to feel/think this way then there is a chance you are right? The sub-conscious often instinctively knows the truth even if our own minds won't accept it.
Depending on his phone, if you get a chance attempt to send a text - when you goto 'send' a list of recent recipients will appear and you can see any unusual contacts.
-Point being that he is more likely to delete sent items from the sent folder than here
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[ This Message was edited by: bulti48 on 2006-08-23 14:24 ]
Yes you're right. Problem is I can never decide whether I am overanalyzing (I'm naturally suspicious anyway) so look to try and prove him innocent. I guess I'm also too scared to look now as whenever I've had reason to believe infidelity in the past (through phone) he always denies it and there are always other explanations that one can apply.
I'll try the thing you suggested when I see him next, if I can.
Either that or confront him and tell him exactly what has lead you to this line of thought.
It's not the best conversation to have but it at least it can go only one of two ways: You break up or it makes your relationship stronger*
*Given that he speaks with you openly and honestly
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[ This Message was edited by: bulti48 on 2006-08-23 15:02 ]
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Posted: 2006-08-23 16:01:49
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On 2006-08-23 16:01:49, bulti48 wrote:
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On 2006-08-23 15:28:12, Keels wrote:
Quote:
On 2006-08-23 15:21:02, bulti48 wrote:
I would suspect that this is not the first time you have been suspicious of your boyfriend? I maybe wrong.
If events in the past have led you to feel/think this way then there is a chance you are right? The sub-conscious often instinctively knows the truth even if our own minds won't accept it.
Depending on his phone, if you get a chance attempt to send a text - when you goto 'send' a list of recent recipients will appear and you can see any unusual contacts.
-Point being that he is more likely to delete sent items from the sent folder than here
_________________
[ This Message was edited by: bulti48 on 2006-08-23 14:24 ]
Yes you're right. Problem is I can never decide whether I am overanalyzing (I'm naturally suspicious anyway) so look to try and prove him innocent. I guess I'm also too scared to look now as whenever I've had reason to believe infidelity in the past (through phone) he always denies it and there are always other explanations that one can apply.
I'll try the thing you suggested when I see him next, if I can.
Either that or confront him and tell him exactly what has lead you to this line of thought.
It's not the best conversation to have but it at least it can only go one of two ways: You break up or it makes your relationship stronger*
*Given that he speaks with you openly and honestly
Yea well that will get me nowhere...he reiterates that he is not lying, because I seem convinced that he is lying still he doesn't see the point in trying to defend his corner. Or when he does defend his corner he gets all defensive and upset because I don't trust him. I will ask him about it, he will deny it whatever evidence I have, then I won't know what to believe (because I don't know if I really have "evidence")
[ This Message was edited by: Keels on 2006-08-23 15:06 ]
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Posted: 2006-08-23 16:03:58
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Fascinating thread!
What did his text say?
If he says it was meant for you then you have to give him the benefit of the doubt unless there is some other conclusive evidence. Did it say "can I do it up your bum again tonight?" when he's never done it before? Now that would be pretty conclusive.
If it said "Hi, can we meet later?" then that could have been meant for his brother.
If you love your boyfriend don't let jealousy and suspiscion destroy your relationship. [/agony uncle]
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Posted: 2006-08-23 16:20:43
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I understand what you're saying.
Relationships are complex but the most fundamental basis for a good relationship must be trust.
If he accused you of foul play how would you react? Would you get grumpy and defensive or would you try and prove how much you care?
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Posted: 2006-08-23 16:27:54
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On 2006-08-23 16:20:43, Ruudfood wrote:
Fascinating thread!
What did his text say?
If he says it was meant for you then you have to give him the benefit of the doubt unless there is some other conclusive evidence. Did it say "can I do it up your bum again tonight?" when he's never done it before? Now that would be pretty conclusive.
If it said "Hi, can we meet later?" then that could have been meant for his brother.
If you love your boyfriend don't let jealousy and suspiscion destroy your relationship. [/agony uncle]
It just said "gone to bed without me? lol" which isn't horrific but if it was meant for another woman i'd get majorly pissed off.
I'm just suspicious because of how coincidental it all seems to be..typical that the one message I get that is delayed, could suggest there is someone else, AND the sent time does not agree with what he said. Also if it was innocent and meant for someone else then why the need to lie, I think it's either completely innocent or completely dodgy..just can't decide which atm. Got some people agreeing with me and some people telling me I'm being silly (mates, lol). Who thinks I should try and let it go?
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Posted: 2006-08-23 16:29:08
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Yer.....
Sit back and let it go for now but make sure you come back and give us all the gossip should things change.....lol
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Posted: 2006-08-23 16:32:09
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On 2006-08-23 16:27:54, bulti48 wrote:
I understand what you're saying.
Relationships are complex but the most fundamental basis for a good relationship must be trust.
If he accused you of foul play how would you react? Would you get grumpy and defensive or would you try and prove how much you care?
Good question. I'd probably do the latter first, but after a while if I found it wasn't making any difference then I'd probably get grumpy and defensive too. I just can't let these things go until I have concrete evidence that he is innocent as there is always part of me that is convinced the "evidence" I have is concrete enough to suggest he's guilty (but obviously not that concrete as I'm still with him
)...I do it the other way round lol and my god I'm hard work! Wouldn't surprise me if he found someone else...
[ This Message was edited by: Keels on 2006-08-23 15:34 ]
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Posted: 2006-08-23 16:32:27
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Well considering I've sent txts to people, and they've arrived about an hour later (when I've been with them!!!) and the time states that I'd just sent it then I guess the time shown is from when the network receives it...
Network delays happen more often then you think. 2 minutes is nothing!
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Posted: 2006-08-24 11:38:40
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Considering the circumstances I think you have to give him the benefit of the doubt. If he said that he went away, came back and saw that you were offline then that was a good reason to send you a text.
But I know that MSN messenger can sometimes be confusing in that that little pale yellow tag at the top can either say that the person you're talking to is offline OR that you yourself is offline. It is possible to sign out of messenger without knowing it's happened and it could've happened when he was away.
So, he texted you, then looked at his PC more closely, saw that HE was the one offline and not everyone else, then decided to say hello. Ignore the time factor here as we're talking mere seconds not hours - not even a few minutes. I think his explanation is perfectly plausible.
Now stop destroying your relationship with suspiscion and build it with plenty of trust and lots of s3x!
Alternatively, post "evidence" of all his other activities that make you suspect that you've already driven him into the arms of another woman
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Posted: 2006-08-24 13:15:51
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@keels the sent time is usually the time adopted by the operator. I just sent a text to myself at 5.44pm, received it at 5.44pm, but the delivery report states it was delivered at 5.13pm!
so i'm guessing the sent time displayed in your guy's phone and the received time in your's, are the respective phone times, but the sent time that you see and the delivery time your boyfriend sees are the network times, which may be a couple of minutes off your individual phone times
and please dont quote every post-its hard to read
ok...now send a text to yourself and see if what i'm saying is true
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Posted: 2006-08-24 14:18:09
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