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Mike Oldfield's latest attempt to create an innovative musical instrument out of an old washing machine for his forthcoming album, Tubular bells 3, fell flat after he found that his pen knife was too blunt to remove the rubber seals.
swimbladder, oscilloscope, pancake
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Posted: 2007-12-12 18:14:39
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Through swollen eyes he watched the oscilloscope beep and respirator pancake up and down and he swore from then on that it was the last time he'd tell the mother-in-law she had a face like a ruptured swimbladder.
Sausage. Moderator. Reindeer.
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Posted: 2007-12-12 21:04:48
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HaHaHa! Excellent!
Laffen's reindeer took a turn for the worse after eating an undercooked sausage forcing him to delegate the job of transport duties to a moderator.
Eclectic, psychedelic, osteoporosis
[ This Message was edited by: Cycovision on 2007-12-12 20:11 ]
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Posted: 2007-12-12 21:09:54
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As he careers towards old age, Ozzy Osbourne, recollecting the eclectic mix of psychedelic and mind-bending substances he has consumed, views osteoporosis as the least of his worries.
Tectonic, refund and windpipe.
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Posted: 2007-12-12 21:43:03
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Cyco's claim for compensation after a sweet become lodged in his windpipe during an earthquake was swiftly denied by the courts after the judge ruled that "sudden tectonic plate shifts were an act of god and therefore the defendant was in no way responsible." He was instead offered a full refund.
prism, artichoke, leg
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Posted: 2007-12-12 21:57:48
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There was an artichoke and a mechanical leg in the big glass prism, in the middle of the National Museum of Oddities.
Telepathy-Bread-Consecrated
[ This Message was edited by: NightBlade on 2007-12-12 23:41 ]
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Posted: 2007-12-13 00:38:21
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After the loaf of bread started using it's powers of telepathy for evil deeds, the Priest was called to perform an exorcism and bury it in consecrated ground.
Impede, statutory, match
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Posted: 2007-12-13 12:28:09
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I tried my best to impede the courts progress with mystery witnesses but the judge had no other choice but to hand out the statutory maximum sentence for setting fire to the queens hair with a match.
translation, impending, oscillate
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Posted: 2007-12-13 12:57:54
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The impending Oscars ceremony looked likely to turn into a fiasco after the Dyslexic language expert's wrong translation of the script meant that the host announced the arrival of a famous "oscillate" instead of a famous "socialite"
Spectrum, probe, equity
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Posted: 2007-12-13 13:09:26
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LMAO
A probe has been launched after an administrator in London Zoo used a large chunk of the organisations equity to manufacture jerseys for chameleons in every colour of the spectrum, as he wasn't sure what colour they prefered.
Ladder, evaporate, orbital.
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Posted: 2007-12-13 13:20:49
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