>
New Topic
>
Reply<
Esato Forum Index
>
General discussions >
Garbage threads
> Post Your funny Jokes Here
Bookmark topic
--
Posted: 2002-06-14 13:15:00
Edit :
Quote
hehehe. I like the helpdesk quotes!
--
Posted: 2002-06-16 16:44:00
Edit :
Quote
They are good
--
Posted: 2002-06-16 16:53:00
Edit :
Quote
last one is great come on tell us what happened on your second day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
--
Posted: 2002-06-16 17:41:00
Edit :
Quote
We always hear "the rules" from the feminine side. Ok, well now hear the guys' side. These are our rules! Please note these are all numbered "1." ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down.
1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor
1. Check your oil! Please.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1.If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done... not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Drinking, Women, or Sports
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what the hell they're saying anyway.)
1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.
1. I AM in shape. - ROUND is a shape
--
Posted: 2002-06-17 17:58:00
Edit :
Quote
I have another one for you
___________________________________________________________
man goes into jewellers and starts scratching his arse like mad.
jeweller threatens to kick him out,
man says "but your sign says come in and pick you ring in comfort"
--
Posted: 2002-06-17 18:26:00
Edit :
Quote
Books For Schools
Kids books that were rejected:
1. You Are Different and That's Bad
2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
3. Dad's New Wife Tony
4. Fun four-letter Words to Know and Share
5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book
6. The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking
7. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mum Stopped Loving Her
8. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
9. All Cats Go to Hell
10. The Little Sissy Who Snitched
11. Some Kittens Can Fly
12. That's it, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption
13. Granddad Gets a Casket
14. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
15. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
16. Strangers Have the Best Sweets
17. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way
18. You Were an Accident
19. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
20. Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games
21. The Man in the Moon Is Actually Satan
22. Your Nightmares Are Real
23. Where Would You Like to Be Buried?
24. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Miss Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
25. Places Where Mummy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
26. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
--
Posted: 2002-06-17 18:29:00
Edit :
Quote
more more !!
--
Posted: 2002-06-22 17:32:00
Edit :
Quote
You like then?, As soon as I get them I will post them
--
Posted: 2002-06-22 20:28:00
Edit :
Quote
yeah man, i'm a pretty big joke collector meself
--
Posted: 2002-06-22 20:51:00
Edit :
Quote
New Topic
Reply
