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Two Irish nuns have just arrived in Canada by boat and one says to the other, 'I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs.'
'Odd,' her companion replies, 'but if we shall live in Canada, we might as well do as the Canadians do.'
As they sit, they hear a push cart vendor yell 'Get your dogs here' and they both walk towards the hot dog cart.
'Two dogs, please! ,' says one.
The vendor is very pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over.
Excited, the nuns hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their 'dogs'.
The mother superior is first to open hers. She begins to blush and then, staring at it for a moment, leans to the other Nun and whispers cautiously, 'What part did you get'??????
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Posted: 2008-04-03 03:06:11
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What did the Mexican fire chief call his two sons?
Hose A and Hose B.
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Posted: 2008-04-03 23:35:17
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A Classic Joke:
Q: Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill?
A: Cuz it ran out of juice!!!
(yea i kno it was crapp but was the only one i can think of lol)
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Posted: 2008-04-04 11:35:15
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A neatly dressed salesman stopped a man in the street and asked -
"Sir, would you like to buy a a bottle of this mouthwash for $200.00?"
Aghast, the man said, "are you NUTS?, that's robbery!"
The salesman seemed hurt and then tries again -
"Sir, since you are a bit irate, I'll sell it to you for 1/2 price at $100.00?
Again, the man replies bluntly - "you must be crazy pal, now go away!"
The salesman then reaches into his briefcase and pulls out 2 brownies and begins munching away on one of them. He tells the irate guy -
"Sir, please share one of my brownies since I have annoyed you so much".
Unwrapping the brownie, the guy takes a bite; suddenly, the guys spits it out and says:
"HEY," he snarled, "this brownie tastes like crap!!!"
"It is," replied the salesman. "Wanna buy some mouthwash?"
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Posted: 2008-04-05 11:19:24
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You might be a Redneck Jedi if...
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* You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."
* Your Jedi robe is camouflage.
* You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.
* At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.
* You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
* You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.
* The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.
* Wookiees are offended by your B.O.
* You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.
* You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing or bowling.
* Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the dark side...it'll be a hoot."
* You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light up.
* You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.
* You ever fantasized about Princess Leah wearing Daisy Duke shorts.
* You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window.
* Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.
* You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.
* You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with redwood deck.
* You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene.
* If you hear . . . "Luke, I am your father... and your uncle..."
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Posted: 2008-04-05 11:23:46
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It's been confirmed that Dawn French has contracted the Ebola flesh-eating disease.
Doctors have given her 27 years to live...
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Posted: 2008-04-05 12:44:13
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Posted: 2008-04-05 13:44:18
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I dont mean no offence by this one, got sent it via a txt:
2 asylum seekers drop dead in tesco: Every little helps
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Posted: 2008-04-06 12:02:14
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A Redneck boy gets married and takes his lovely new wife home to their trailer
He Carries her over the threshold
They retire to the bedroom
"She looks up and says please be gentle, I'm a Virgin"
He's off like a rocket down the street and back to parents
Dad comes to him and says "oi it's you're wedding night what you doing here"
He says "Dad, she's a virgin"
Dad says "You did the right thing son, If she ain't good enough for her own family she deffinately ain't good enough for our's!!"
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Posted: 2008-04-06 16:12:21
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Muhammad-Oli Posts: > 500
AHAHAHA
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Posted: 2008-04-06 16:45:05
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