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Boy: Those clothes are very becoming on you!
Girl: Why thank you!
Boy: Of course, if I was on you...I would becoming too!
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Posted: 2008-04-12 11:43:25
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An Israeli doctor said, 'Medicine in my country is so advanced, we can
take a kidney out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking
for work in six weeks.'
A German doctor said, 'That's nothing! In Germany, we can take a lung
out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks.'
A Russian doctor said, 'In my country medicine is so advanced, we can
take half a heart from one person, put it in another, and have them
both looking for work in two weeks.'
The English doctor, not to be outdone, said 'Hah!. We can take an
arsehole out of Scotland, put him in 10 Downing Street and have half
the country looking for work within twenty-four hours
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Posted: 2008-04-15 15:37:59
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Two pieces of string walk into a bar. The barman says to the two pieces of string, "we don't serve your kind in here. Get out before I throw you out" Rejected the two pieces of string try another bar, but the same thing happens.
Then one of the pieces of string says "sod this. I'm getting a drink at the next bar, no matter what". So he reaches down and ties himself into a knot. Then he ruffles up his hair, and walks into the next bar.
The bar looks at him suspiciously and says, "Hey, aren't you a piece of string?"
The string says, "No I'm a frayed knot".
hahahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahahah
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Posted: 2008-04-16 02:21:50
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Women are like Parking spaces. all the good ones are taken so when no ones looking you slip it into a disabled one
Paddy buys a bath but takes it back the next day complaining that water keeps running out. "Did you buy a plug?" the store owner asks, Paddy says you fecker, you never said it was electric
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Posted: 2008-04-20 19:53:20
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Paddy weighs 20st, so his doctor puts him on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, eat for 2 days, skip a day, and so on for 2 weeks, you should lose 5lbs."
When paddy returned he shocked the doctor by having lost 4st.
"Thats amazing said the doc".... Paddy nodded...."I'll tell u be jesus, I taut I was gonna drop dead by da 3rd day." "What from hunger said the doc?"..."No from all the Fu**ing skipping!"
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Posted: 2008-04-23 20:03:28
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Youve already said that one.
Paddy & Murphy are walking in the park and Paddy falls down a well. Murphy shouts down to him
"Paddy! Is it dark down there"
Paddy replies "I don't know, I cant see"
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Posted: 2008-04-23 20:14:48
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John Arne Riise has just been stopped by the Police on the motorway. Apparently, he was heading in the wrong direction.
Taxi. I will get my coat.
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Posted: 2008-04-23 20:32:51
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would it help if i new who he was?? cause i dont get it
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Posted: 2008-04-23 20:36:00
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The Liverpool player, who headed the ball into his own net in injury time last night.
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Posted: 2008-04-23 20:39:39
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oh i dont do soccer lol
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Posted: 2008-04-23 20:45:00
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