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so funny
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Posted: 2009-03-30 18:08:48
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Daffy Duck on a dirty weekend calls reception & asks for condoms - receptionist says shall I put them on your bill? - "dont be thuckin thupid I'd thuffocate!"
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Posted: 2009-04-02 14:41:00
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Good one!
[ This Message was edited by: goldenface on 2009-04-02 14:00 ]
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Posted: 2009-04-02 15:00:07
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Muhammad-Oli Posts: > 500
Sorry this one is so good, I have to repeat it here:
New Zealand at the football world cup!
HAHAHAHAHA. Ok I'll stop now.
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Posted: 2009-04-02 15:04:11
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hahahahahahahahahahaha omg Oli your a comedian!
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Posted: 2009-04-03 08:54:56
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Time to jazz this thread up lol...
An elderly couple was driving cross-country, and the woman was driving. She gets pulled over by the highway patrol. The officer says, "Ma'am, did you know you were speeding?"
The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"
The old man yells, "HE SAYS YOU WERE SPEEDING."
The patrolman says, "May I see your license?"
The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"
The old man yells, "HE WANTS TO SEE YOUR LICENSE." The woman gives him her license.
The patrolman says, "I see you are from Arkansas. I spent some time there once, had the worst sex with a woman I have ever had."
The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"
"HE THINKS HE KNOWS YOU," the old man yells.
A law firm receptionist answered the phone the morning after the firm's senior partner had passed away unexpectedly. "Is Mr. Spenser there?" asked the client on the phone.
"I'm very sorry, but Mr. Spenser passed away last night," the receptionist answered. "Can anyone else help you?"
The man paused for a moment, then quietly said, "no" and hung up.
Ten minutes later, he called again and asked for Mr. Spenser, his ex-wife's lawyer. The receptionist said, "You just called a few minutes ago, didn't you? Mr. Spenser has died. I'm not making this up." The man again hung up.
Fifteen minutes later, he called a third time and asked for Mr. Spenser. The receptionist was irked by this time. "I've told you twice already, Mr. Spenser is dead. He is not here! Why do you keep asking for him when I say he's dead? Don't you understand what I'm saying?"
The man replied, "I understand you perfectly. I just like hearing you say it over and over."
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Posted: 2009-04-03 13:58:49
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Does this count, lol, only saw it today...
http://www.esato.com/phonephotos/viewphotos.php?pid=168
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Posted: 2009-04-04 12:33:32
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A married couple were on holiday in Jamaica . They were touring around the market-place looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop.
From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say, 'You foreigners! Come in.. Come into my humble shop.'
So the married couple walked in.
The Jamaican said to them, 'I 'ave some special sandals I tink you would be interested in. Dey makes you wild at sex.'
Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the Sex God that he was.
The husband asked the man, 'How could sandals make you a sex freak?'
The Jamaican replied, 'Just try dem on, Mon.'
Well, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in and tried them on.
As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen before!!
In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him over the table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican's thighs.
The Jamaican began screaming: 'You got dem on de wrong feet!'
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Posted: 2009-04-09 11:13:31
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And Jesus said unto his 12 apostles as he was being nailed to the cross....
"Dont touch my easter eggs i`ll be back on Monday
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Posted: 2009-04-09 20:34:11
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what's a scouse car thief and boy george got in common?
they're both serving time for forcing there way into the back of an escort.
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Posted: 2009-04-09 22:51:00
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