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I went to the barbers today and he said, 'You're going bald' I said, 'Well get a Bloody move on!'
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Posted: 2011-02-27 11:16:23
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Police came around to my house today, told me that my dog was chasing someone on a bike, i told them to bugger off, my dog does not own a bike.
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Posted: 2011-02-27 14:16:49
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Paddy lost his ear on a building site. his friend Murphy shouts out " is this it " ? Paddy looked and said " NO,mine had a pencil behind it" !
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Posted: 2011-02-27 14:23:23
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I passed a tow truck on the way to work, and noticed the driver was sobbing uncontrollably. I thought to myself 'That bloke's heading for a breakdown'..
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Posted: 2011-02-27 14:26:56
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A Liverpool man appeared in court suspected of shagging a cat. The judge dismissed the case saying he never heard of a scouser putting anything into a kitty
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Posted: 2011-03-17 11:15:00
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What do you call a scouser in a suit?
The accused
What do you call a scouser in a white shell suit?
The bride
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Posted: 2011-03-17 18:32:03
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Goldenface will like these
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Posted: 2011-03-17 18:35:05
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"An Englishman at an Indian's table in Surat saw a bottle of ale being opened, and all the beer, turned to froth, rushed out. The Indian, by repeated exclamations, showed his great amazement. - Well, what's so amazing in that? asked the Englishman. - Oh, but I'm not amazed at its coming out, replied the Indian, but how you managed to get it all in. - This makes us laugh, and it gives us a hearty pleasure. This is not because, say, we think we are smarter than this ignorant man, nor are we laughing at anything else here that it is our liking and that we noticed through our understanding. It is rather that we had a tense expectation that suddenly vanished..."
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Posted: 2011-03-26 09:36:02
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I don't get that oneżż
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Posted: 2011-03-26 11:56:00
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I would like them Bono if they were any good
I love the old stereotype based jokes the best. You thick, ugly, drunken, pasty-faced bogtrotter
Some cracking jokes in this thread, always cheers me up. Those ones from nicv27 are pure genius when done Tommy Cooper style, I'm still laughing..
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Posted: 2011-03-26 15:24:35
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