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We have three candidates people! Now is the time to vote.
If you want an Esato that is proud and glorious, an Esato that shines brightly in the sunlight, an Esato with lots of flags and banners, an Esato to be proud of, then vote Scots & Vlamm.
We welcome all here at Scots & Vlamm, or Scamm, as our political party is called, so please do not hesitate to join our ranks.
I hope to be speaking to you very soon, not as a candidate, but as your proud and glorious leader. A vote for the Scamm party is a vote for less talk of Nokia and more talk of SE, a vote for Scots & Vlamm is a vote for Esato!
Don't let our opponents fool you with their flashy campaigns funded by dirty money, don't let them sell Esato down the river; don't let them destroy our proud and ancient community here. We will abolish this republic nonsense and install the proper form of government, a constitutional monarchy. Be proud to call yourselves Esatonian, drape yourselves in our proud banner; we can hear your cries for more smiley and more avatars and we will deliver. We are not the party of broken promises, just look at our opponents, they can’t even decide who will stand for election, we are the party of strength and vigour, we are the party of health and vitality, use your vote to bring us to power, use your vote to make Esato a better place.
VOTE SCOTS & VLAMM!
The environmental choice.
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Posted: 2004-07-15 01:43:30
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I'm with batesie!
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Posted: 2004-07-15 03:03:04
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(Amazingly stunning graphic introduction that leaves you breathless in antici..........pation)
"Welcome back to NZNN. We interupt continuing coverage of the Blair Witch teach yourself Home Video classes to bring you more on the elections.
Today seems to be coming to a close with all the parties looking strong. The various parties all have their issues and are bringing them to a forefront in a race that looks to be more exciting that a debate on non existant emerging models. Of the candidates we feel that both Vlamm and batesie have been particularly strong candidates, showing not only a keen intellect for finance - but an apprication for the future and ensuring job security.
While candidates are very busy, we managed to schedule in an interview with Vlamm from the Scamm party. I take you now to this interview conducted by one of our top political reporters, Shak nVac.
(Shuffles paper slightly as screen expands to interveiw)
(- Shak nVac -) Vlamm, thankyou for taking time out of your busy schedule to talk with us today. Given the nature of these elections we felt it would be a little unjustified asking you the usual questions of wether lime is the best flavour for a milkshake, or should you use a screen protector when out in your electorate. Instead, we thought we'd gift you some screentime to say what really matters and address the public.
(- Vlamm -) Thankyou. Vlamm I am, Vlamm from Scamm, said Vlamm. Vote for Scamm! Else BLAMM! Vlamm from Scamm.
(- Shak nVac -)(Wiping a tear from eye) Well I'm not sure what to say, its hard hitting, its honest, thought provoking, frankly i'm not sure I can do Vlamms comments justice.
(Swivels chair towards screen with a penetrating serious stare)
Well.. The truth in its purest form. I must say I'm a little choked up myself, exscuse me.
(Takes a sip form something looking like water, but tasting alot like Vodka)
In further election news.
Lynx's party today came out strong with a message of equality in the posting place and a hearing of the peoples voice. One can only onder what the peoples voice infact sounds like, is it strained or will it sing to Lynxs tune? Time will tell how much talk time the peoples voice actually gets.
Batesies party shocked and sent other parties issue platforms reeling when their party announced today that infact esatos economy was fine and mearly in need of a little polishing. We can only wait to see how the opposition parties defend their stances against such scathing criticism.
Batesies party also caused another shock announcing Axxxr also as his second. Axxxr, also courted by Lynxs party has so far been unreachable for comment. Sources close to the Right Hon. Mayor of Newsthread however claim that Axxxr is infact sheeping.. oh excuse me, sleeping it of.. er currently thinking hard on all sides of the issues before coming out with an official statement later.
We'll be keeping our eyes on this story as it unfolds.
Possibly controversial signings in the Scamm camp today as they signed on long time veteran Orangeman to their military style campaign. Orangeman, a veteran of such battles as the great Manufacturers debate and the earlier bluetooth "Pair and Awe" trouble months has caused quite a stir when tensions appear to be rising with the extremist howards. We can ony wonder, will this Duo now have pro support?
Lastely we're currently waiting to see what the word is from the current Monarch Masseur. His office has been very quiet on which if any party has an endorsement or wether he's just waiting on a new model. Anticipation is high.
Remember to keep watching the only station willing to bring you the best in paid for truth as it happens. You can bank it to us! Our political reporters abroad in the google strip, and here at home continue to work hard to bring you upto the hour news as it happens.
You've been watching NZNN, I'm Cheap Nexchangable, Goodnight."
(Really cool credit sequence that for some reason features a sequence out of an old style computer game)
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Posted: 2004-07-15 03:09:08
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(Gawd.. I am bored at work
)
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Posted: 2004-07-15 03:13:08
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Residentevil Posts: > 500
Just like real politics a lotta talk and hot air, but no action.
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Posted: 2004-07-15 03:16:47
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Usually the action comes after you've been elected. ;D
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Posted: 2004-07-15 03:33:00
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@gigs- Here in Manila it's the other way around
Action comes when they are grandstanding their platforms during the campaign period
. After elected, you will start seeing new cars, new houses new ladies under their belts
If you can consider 'corruption' as an action thing . . . maybe with less movement, just pure signing in the vouchers
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Posted: 2004-07-15 04:19:05
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Hmm corruption.. wimmin... cars.. I am in the wrng country and profession ;D
(I have always wondered why they don't give things like organised crime and international killer as occupations for trouble kids in school. Pays great, you get to travel, meet new people..)
Any of our parties offering such radically free thinking education policies? You could buy a vote easily
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Posted: 2004-07-15 04:32:29
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There now features a party political broadcast on behalf of the Scumm party.
Brave Esatonians as you know the situation with Howard Forums is fast deteriorating, vote us into office to ensure an Esatonian victory. I cannot begin to describe to you the horrors that a Howard victory would bring ... harsh moderators, endless technobabble and the loss of SE's special status.
Lynx69, axxxr, batesie and our other opponents would sit back and do nothing whilst advance parties stormed our forums, you wouldn't stand a chance! We here at Scumm are commited to fighting the enemy on all fronts.
We urge every Esatonian to join E.L.F. and defend our ... er, your forum, and remember, a new donkey to whoever brings me the head of General Montoya before the end of the rainy season!
All Hail Scumm!
All Hail E.L.F.
VOTE SCOTS & VLAMM
The moderate man's choice.
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Posted: 2004-07-15 04:50:00
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Residentevil Posts: > 500
This is kinda getting silly.
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Posted: 2004-07-15 05:01:28
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