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Thanks for taking the time to reply. Didn't mean to turn a mobile phone forum into an agony uncle/aunt column!

You're right, I think he is very vulnerable to rejection. He acts to protect himself a lot of the time. I try to be sympathetic to this.

In terms of him worrying about me partying with friends, I don't think this is so. I'm not much of a party animal and he knows I stay close to home. However, most of my friends are male because of the course I do. He never gives me the impression he is bothered at all!

He doesn't have many friends, he just finds people irritating (so he says, I believe he worries people won't like him). However, he may just be arrogant like sometimes he appears. That's changed a bit recently, he's been going out more as he has made friends at his work...I'm finding this hard to get used to as I've never had to face jealousy in this area before (always had him pretty much to myself). He lies to his mum all the time.
Don't know what he tells his mates, as I've only ever met one!

Probing is worse to some extent and I've noticed he very quickly detects I'm doing it. However, I tend to do this such that I have evidence to fall back on, instead of accusing him of lying straight out.



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Posted: 2006-09-06 15:47:03
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Quote:
On 2006-09-06 15:45:58, bulti48 wrote:
Does he trust you?


I don't know. I think he trusts me not to cheat on him. But I don't think he trusts me as much as I like to think in other areas to be honest. He did say once that he lies to those he doesn't trust... he probably is just majory self protecting. Worried that I'll run if I know who he really is...he probably remembers instances when I've got upset about his behaviour and lied ever since to avoid the same reaction. He's always been the secretive/mysterious type. I still don't really know who the real him is. He has also admitted to pretending to be someone he isn't in the past.
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Posted: 2006-09-06 15:50:23
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i don't know now, this has turn into abit of uncharter territory, i've never really met people who don't like people as i'm more of a friends guy and love my friends cos i never really had the whole family thing..

so i'm affraid that I can't relate to his personallity anymore.
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""""In terms of him worrying about me partying with friends, I don't think this is so. I'm not much of a party animal and he knows I stay close to home. However, most of my friends are male because of the course I do. He never gives me the impression he is bothered at all! """"""""
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He's a guy he's not going to give the impression to you that he's bother he's going to give you the freedom you want to show he's not controlling and to show he full trusts you ( even tho he probably doesn't)


"""He doesn't have many friends, he just finds people irritating (so he says, I believe he worries people won't like him).""""
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why do you say he wories people won't ike him. this suggests to me that you see a flaw in him that you think people won't like and ultimately you've had to deal with. perhaps you should be honoured he's found someone he can like, like i said above i can't reli relate to him any more...

everyone lies to there parents, and guys especially to there mums,

do you think you will beable to forget about the phone thing and move on?
i think you might have to...
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Posted: 2006-09-06 16:01:55
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The only reason I said that I think he worries people wont like him is because I get the distinct impression he has a low self esteem. Just other comments he has made, the way he seems nervous around people etc lead me to believe he lacks confidence, although he would never admit to that. He is insanely intelligent too, and I think he finds it hard to find people he can relate to that are on the same wavelength...think he feels bit misunderstood and judged on his intellect, also he gets bored as well.

I don't know what to think about this phone thing anymore. I've got no choice really but to sit on it and see what else comes my way. Very difficult though, keep flipping from letting it go to not being able to think of anything else. In all honesty, what do you think I should do? Also, as an outsider and based on the info I've given do you think I'm barking up the wrong tree?
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Posted: 2006-09-06 16:07:42
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I think I read earlier that its been about 16 months. That's long but not that long when you look at relationships of like 40 years or more etc. If he is protecting himself maybe its because he needs time and maybe you are doing the same? Trust is the key to a good relationship which is what I said in one of my first posts.

So have faith in your relationship and give it time. Time will tell and one way or the other you will find happiness.

As boman1882 said:
do you think you will beable to forget about the phone thing and move on?
i think you might have to...

On your reflection to your last post - The way you explain his low self esteem, sounds like he could be a pot smoker.....?


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[ This Message was edited by: bulti48 on 2006-09-06 15:13 ]
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Posted: 2006-09-06 16:10:01
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ok my honest opinion is:

I think you've go nothing to worry about, i hugely doubt that he's found him self another girl.

You to are probably perfect together and shouldn't let little hiccups like these worry you, every relationship has them no matter what people say. Just sometimes some hiccups are larger than others.

I think you should hold on to what you've got and don't let the little things bother you.

If you enjoy each others comany and have fun together thats all that matters.
you only live once so live life and don't question everything it throws at you........


ps. I feel like setting up my own thread for talking to people about there problems. lol... very jerry springer hehe
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Posted: 2006-09-06 16:13:18
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Quote:


On your reflection to your last post - The way you explain his low self esteem, sounds like he could be a pot smoker.....?




LOL I hope not! Put it this way, in the whole time we've been together I've never seen him with any, smelt any on him, or found any. His previous relationship went completely wrong, possibly a better explanation to his low self esteem. Don't get me worried about him being a secret pot smoker...
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Posted: 2006-09-06 16:17:17
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would it really bother you that much if he was?
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Posted: 2006-09-06 16:18:49
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There you go a smile on your face...........I say it tongue in cheek.

good luck!
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Posted: 2006-09-06 16:19:38
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Quote:
On 2006-09-06 16:18:49, boman1882 wrote:
would it really bother you that much if he was?



Yes
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Posted: 2006-09-06 16:21:05
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