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A long time ago, Britain and France were at war. During one battle, The French captured an English major. Taking the major to their headquarters, the French general began to question him.
The French general asked, "Why do you English officers all wear red coats? Don't you know the red material makes you easier targets for us to shoot at?"
In his bland English way, the major informed the general that the reason English officers wear red coats is so that if they are shot, the blood won't show and the men they are leading won't panic.
And that is why from that day to now, all French Army officers wear brown pants.
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Posted: 2003-04-04 14:54:00
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Yaeh they want to hide that the have shitt in there pants!
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Posted: 2003-04-04 15:07:00
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That is historicly true, u know? but it was not the french... it was "il duce" benito mussolini in WWII...
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Posted: 2003-04-04 15:43:00
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I know but it's funnier in the present climate to aim it at the French!
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Posted: 2003-04-04 19:29:00
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A man who sleeps with an itchy a**hole wakes up with a smelly finger...
In baseball: A man with FOUR BALLS will have a hard time trying to WALK...
Marriage is not a word! It is a sentence... A LIFE SENTENCE!!!
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Posted: 2003-04-04 21:45:00
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a man whoo wipe of the swett in his armpitts with his finger have smelly finger
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Posted: 2003-04-04 22:11:00
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Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the veterinarian's. One of the dogs was hanging its head and sighing.
The second dog turned to him and asked, 'What are you in here for, buddy?'
The dog looked depressed.
'I'm in big trouble,' he said. 'My owner has a really nice sports car with leather seats. I just love to go for rides in it. Well, the other day, he took me for a ride and I was so excited, I peed on the nice leather seat. Now he's having me put to sleep.'
'I know how you feel,' said the second dog. 'My owners have a beautiful, expensive oriental rug. The other day they were late getting home from work and I just couldn't help myself. I shit all over their nice carpet and ruined it. They're having me put to sleep too.'
Both dogs turned to the third dog in the waiting room.
'So what are you here for?' they asked.
'Well', said the third dog, 'my owner likes to do her housework in the nude. The other day, she was vacuuming and she knelt down to vacuum under the sofa and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and had the ride of my life.'
The other dogs nodded in sympathy.
'So she's having you put to sleep too, huh?'
'No,' said the dog, 'I'm having my nails clipped.'
- - -
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Posted: 2003-04-04 23:08:00
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the oldie-but-goodies are comin at us from all angles now!
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Posted: 2003-04-05 01:42:00
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real funny timz! jerk off!
quit doing that shit!
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Posted: 2003-04-05 07:37:00
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A MAN SPOKE FRANTICALLY INTO THE PHONE, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only 5 mins. apart!""Is this her first child?"the doctor asked?"No!" the man shouted,"This is her husband!"
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two guys were introduced to a girl. "hi, I'm peter, not a SAINT." "I'm john not the BAPTIST." "I'm paul, not the POPE." the girl replied. "hello, I'm mary not a VIRGIN!"
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A man took her wife to a doctor due to a bee entered her private while having sex.
The doctor thought for a moment and said,"Hmmm, tricky situation. But I have a solution to the problem if you would permit me, sir." The husband said the doctor could use whatever method to get the bee out. The doctor rubbed some honey at the tip of his pen.... and inserted to the lady's vag...."When I feel the bee I'll withdraw my pen... and the bee should follow out."
After a few strokes, the doctor said "I don't think the bee has noticed the honey yet. Perhaps I should go a bit deeper." And so he did. After a while the doctor began shafting the lady really hard and she beagn to moan and groan aloud. The husband noticed that the doctor was enjoying himself and shouted. " What the hell do you think you're doing?". The doctor concentrating and replied " Change of plan. I'm gonna drown the bastard!"
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Posted: 2003-04-05 08:47:00
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