>
New Topic
>
Reply<
Esato Forum Index
>
General discussions >
Garbage threads
> Post Your funny Jokes Here
Bookmark topic
- - -
One day a young man went to a pharmacy and asked the little old lady behind the counter if he could speak with the pharmacist. "I am the pharmacist," she informed him.
"Oh, in that case forget it," he replied and started to leave.
"Young man," the lady said to him, "my sister and I have been pharmacists for forty years and there is nothing we haven't heard, so what is your problem?"
"Well," the young man said reluctantly, "I have a problem with erections. Once I get hard, it won't go down for hours and hours, no matter how much I have intercourse! Please, can you give me something for it?
"I'll have to go in the back and talk to my sister." she informed him. About ten minutes later she came back. "Young man, I have consulted with my sister and the best we can give you is $1000 a week and a third interest in the pharmacy."
- - -
--
Posted: 2003-04-16 23:14:00
Edit :
Quote
--
Posted: 2003-04-17 01:40:00
Edit :
Quote
been quiet here recently, so:
A man and his date walk into a very posh Rodeo Drive furrier after
having eaten a very expensive lunch at one of Beverly Hills most exclusive restaurants.
"Show the lady your finest mink!" the fellow exclaims.
So the owner of the shop goes in back and comes out with an absolutely gorgeous full-length coat.
As the lady tries it on, the furrier sidles up to the guy and discreetly whispers,
"Ah, sir, that particular fur goes for $65,000."
"No problem! I'll write you a check!"
"Very good, sir." says the shop owner. "Today is Saturday. You may come by on Monday to pick it up, a
fter the check has cleared the bank."
So the man and the woman leave. On Monday, the fellow returns. The store owner is outraged:
"How dare you show your face in here?! There wasn't a single penny in your checking account!!"
"I just had to come by," grinned the guy, "to thank you for the greatest nice weekend of my life!"
************************
One day a lawyer was riding in his limosine when he saw a guy eating grass.
He told the driver to stop. He got out and asked him, "Why are you eating grass".
The man replied, "I'm so poor, I can't afford a thing to eat."
So the lawyer said, "Poor guy, come back to my house."
The guy then said, "But I have a wife and three kids." The lawyer told him to bring them along.
When they were all in the car, the poor man said,
"Thanks for taking us back to your house, it is so kind of you."
The lawyer said, "You're going to love it there, the grass is a foot tall"
--
Posted: 2003-04-23 14:49:00
Edit :
Quote
I was beginning to think that people had vacated this thread ...
- - -
A guy goes to see the doctor, because he's a little too well-endowed. In fact, it's 25 inches long and he can't get any women to have sex with him.
Anyway, the doctor says there's nothing he can do medically, but recommends a witch doctor that he thinks might be able to help.
The witch doctor takes a look at the problem and tells him to go to a particular pond, deep in the forest, and talk to a frog that lives there. "Ask the frog to marry you and each time the frog says no, you'll be 5 inches shorter."
Worth a try, he thinks, and off he dashes into the forest. He finds the pond and sees the frog on the other side, sitting on a log. "Frog, will you marry me?"
The frog looks at him, disinterested at best, and calls back, "No."
The guy looks down and sure enough, he's 5 inches shorter. Hey, this is great he thinks -- let's try that again. "Will you marry me?"
The frog rolls his eyes, and shouts back again, "No!"
Zappo! -- the guy's down to 15 inches. Well, that's still a bit excessive, he thinks. Down another 5 would be perfect. So he calls across again, "Frog, will you marry me?"
The irritated frog yells back, "Look..how many times do I have to tell you? No, No, NO!"
--
Posted: 2003-04-23 22:43:00
Edit :
Quote
oldie-but-goodie
--
Posted: 2003-04-24 01:00:00
Edit :
Quote
A pineapple plantation owner in Hawaii was having a
problem with his trees.
He called in an agronomist to evaluate the situation.
"Your problem can easily be solved if you cover the
base of each tree with cat manure!" advised the
agronomist.
With some difficulty and great expense the owner was
able to secure enough manure for his trees. The trees
produced a bumper crop of pineapples, with just a
minor problem, they tasted a bit strange.
With some concern, the owner called his distributor on
the mainland as asked, "Harry, do you think you can
sell pineapples that taste a little like pussy?"
"I'm not sure, Harry answered, but, if you can figure
out a way to make pussy taste a little like pineapple,
we'll make a fortune!!!"
**************************
The Ideal Wife should be beautiful,
but not so beautiful that people think
you married her only for her beauty.
And The Ideal Wife should be wealthy,
but not so wealthy that people think
you married her only for her money.
And The Ideal Wife should be gentle,
but not so gentle that she can't
suck a tennis ball through a fifty-foot garden hose.
*****************************
A blonde from Arkansas is going on her first overseas trip. She drives
all the way into Little Rock to apply for a passport. In the passport
office, the government official sees that she is visibly puzzled
filling her passport application.
The passport official looks over her shoulder and sees the blonde
trying to write 'twice a week' into the small space labeled 'SEX'.
The official explains: "No, no, no. That is not what we mean by this
question. We are asking 'Male' or 'Female'."
"Doesn't matter," the blonde answers.
****************************
A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
"Jon, this is your doctor. I have the test results,
and I have some good news and some bad news. Which would you like me to tell you first?"
"Go ahead and tell me the good news, doc."
"Jon, our tests show that you have a rare disorder that will cause your
penis to grow 3-5 inches longer, and grow about an inch to 2 inches in width.
I'm sorry, but your penis will be this way for the rest of your life, there's no way to reverse it."
"Well hell yeah! I don't understand, what's the bad news?"
"It's malignant."
--
Posted: 2003-04-24 14:57:00
Edit :
Quote
Material...
We need more material in here...
This thread is dying. You and i seem to be the only ones left...
--
Posted: 2003-04-25 19:45:00
Edit :
Quote
okok...
dont tell me u havent heard this ollddd 1
The Truth Is Easier
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awaking around eight p.m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home.
"Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house.
"Darling", replied the man, "I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary and we've been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight o'clock."
The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!"
--
Posted: 2003-04-25 19:46:00
Edit :
Quote
oldie-but-goodie mate, but a least it's some material!
--
Posted: 2003-04-25 19:51:00
Edit :
Quote
Funny stuff !
As I have posted so many jokes here, forgive me if this one is a repeat ...
- - -
A young man walks up and sits down at the bar.
'What can I get you?' the barman inquires.
'I want six shots of whisky,' responds the young man.
'Six shots? Are you celebrating something?'
'Yeah, my first blowjob.'
'Well, in that case, let me give you a seventh on the house.'
The young man says, 'No offence sir, but if six shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will.'
--
Posted: 2003-04-25 19:54:00
Edit :
Quote
New Topic
Reply
