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please... i love funny jokes
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Posted: 2003-06-18 13:51:01
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common filipino grammatical/dictional error
Wrong: FILL UP application form/s
Right: FILL OUT application form/s
(you can FILL UP water/gas tank but definitely, not
application form)
Wrong: Brownout
Right: Blackout
(Brownout is a reduction or cutback in electric
power.)
Wrong: May I know who's ON THE LINE? (asking the
caller her/his name on
the
phone)
Right: May I know who's SHE/HE/THIS/ON THE PHONE?
(On the line means "at stake/risk" i.e. your job is on
the line.)
Wrong: You can DEDUCT it FROM my credit card.
Right: You can CHARGE it TO my credit card.
(You can DEDUCT it FROM my checking or savings
account.)
Wrong: OPEN/CLOSE the light
Right: TURN ON/OFF the light
(This one is easy.)
In a fastfood or restaurant, you don't ask for
TISSUES. You ask for
NAPKINS/TABL E NAPKINS.
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Posted: 2003-06-18 20:58:44
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ACTUAL ANSWERING MACHINE ANSWERS RECORDED AND VERIFIED BY THE WORLD FAMOUS INTERNATIONAL INSTITUTE OF ANSWERING MACHINE ANSWERS.
1. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
2. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.
3. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
4. Hi. Now YOU say something.
5. Hi, I'm not home right now, but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.
6. Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?
7. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a > >sexy message, I'll call sooner!
8. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. > >Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.
10. This is not an answering machine-this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number and your reason for calling, and I'll think about returning your call.
11. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you!!!!
12. Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message and then wait by your phone until I call you back.
13. If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave a message.
14. Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.
15. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.
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Posted: 2003-06-18 22:14:14
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hvat is this?
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Posted: 2003-06-18 22:16:31
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hmm.. i don't know...
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Posted: 2003-06-18 23:08:10
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a fren sent this to me...it's not really that appropriate for this thread but i'd like to share it with u guys anyway:
EASY AND DIFFICULT
Easy is to get a place in someone's address book.
Difficult is to get a place in someone's heart.
Easy is to judge the mistakes of others
Difficult is to recognize our own mistakes
Easy is to talk without thinking
Difficult is to refrain the tongue
Easy is to hurt someone who loves us.
Difficult is to heal the wound...
Easy is to forgive others
Difficult is to ask for forgiveness
Easy is to set rules.
Difficult is to follow them...
Easy is to dream every night.
Difficult is to fight for a dream...
Easy is to show victory.
Difficult is to assume defeat with dignity...
Easy is to admire a full moon.
Difficult to see the other side...
Easy is to stumble with a stone.
Difficult is to get up...
Easy is to enjoy life every day.
Difficult to give its real value...
Easy is to promise something to someone.
Difficult is to fulfill that promise...
Easy is to say we love.
Difficult is to show it every day...
Easy is to criticize others.
Difficult is to improve oneself.
Easy is to make mistakes.
Difficult is to learn from them...
Easy is to weep for a lost love.
Difficult is to take care of it so as not to lose it...
Easy is to think about improving.
Difficult is to stop thinking and put it into action...
Easy is to think bad of others
Difficult is to give them the benefit of the doubt...
Easy is to receive
Difficult is to give
Easy to read this
Difficult to follow
Easy is to keep friendship with words
Difficult is to keep it with meanings
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Posted: 2003-06-19 11:05:00
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lot off that is true...
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Posted: 2003-06-19 11:18:27
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kinda true
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Posted: 2003-06-19 11:27:00
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True yes, and thanks 4 sharing that shits
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Posted: 2003-06-19 11:34:15
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not a problem...it's frenship week after all.....or wuz it last week...hmmmm!!!
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Posted: 2003-06-19 12:33:40
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