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Having just read a classic govigov posted about a dissatisfied NTL customer, I thought I might just share this one with you all
An exact replica of a letter a daughter wrote to her parents from
college:
Dear Mom and Dad,
It has now been three months since I left for college. I have been
remiss in writing this and I am very sorry for my thoughtlessness in not having written before.
I will bring you up to date now, but, before you read on, please sit
down.
YOU ARE NOT TO READ ANY FURTHER UNLESS YOU ARE SITTING DOWN,OKAY?
Well then, I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture, and
the concussion I got when I jumped out of the window of my dormitory when it caught fire shortly after my arrival, are pretty well healed now. Fortunately, the fire in the dormitory and my jump, were witnessed by an attendant at the gas station near the dorm. He was the one who called the fire department and the ambulance.
He also visited me at the hospital, and since I had nowhere to live because of the burned out dormitory, he was kind enough to invite me to share his apartment with him and his three buddies. It's really a basement room, but it's kind of cute. He is a very fine boy and we have fallen deeply in love and are planning to be married. We haven't set the exact date yet, but it will be before my pregnancy
begins to show.
Yes, Mom and Dad, I am pregnant. I know how much you are looking forward to being grandparents! I know you will welcome the baby and give it the love, devotion and tender care you gave me when I was a child.
The reason for the delay in our marriage is that my boyfriend has some
minor infection which prevents us from passing our pre-marital blood tests, and I carelessly caught it from him. This will soon clear up with the penicillin injections I am having daily. I know you will welcome him into our family with open arms.
He is kind and, although not well educated, he is ambitious. Although he is of a different race and religion than ours, I know your often expressed tolerance will not permit you to be bothered by the fact that his skin color is different than ours. I am sure you will love him as I do. His family background is good too, for I am told that his father is an important weapons dealer in the village in Africa from which he came.
Now that I have brought you up to date, I want to tell you that there
was no dormitory fire, I did not have a concussion or a skull fracture. I was not in the hospital, I am not pregnant and I am not engaged. I do not have syphilis and there is no man(of any color) in my life.
However, I got a 'D' in History and an 'F' in Science, and I wanted you
to see those marks in the proper perspective.
Your Loving Daughter
Linda.
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Posted: 2005-12-21 23:50:29
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EastCoastStar Posts: > 500
hahahahha!!!! very nice!
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Posted: 2005-12-22 00:37:04
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Ha ha ha. Very clever. Brilliant! :-D
This message was posted from a S700
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Posted: 2005-12-22 00:39:50
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ha ha ha that was brilliant....very clever indeed
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Posted: 2005-12-22 09:48:26
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ha ha thats quality
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Posted: 2005-12-22 11:25:15
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Superb, i like that
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Posted: 2005-12-22 13:39:20
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very old but still funny.
true story actually i did something along these lines too!!!
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Posted: 2005-12-22 15:22:39
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haha quality
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Posted: 2005-12-22 15:24:26
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Ha ha he.. Had a free laugh. Such threads add colour. Good one to keep a relaxed new year ozone.
This message was posted from a J300
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Posted: 2005-12-22 15:34:43
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yes pradika! nothing better than a fresh start at a new year!
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Posted: 2005-12-22 15:39:48
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