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In a shock development, it was revealed today that Osama Bin Laden, Terrorist and most wanted man in the world, has been quietly working in a New Jersey Seven-Eleven for almost two years. The son of a Saudi Billionaire and nefarious leader of Al Qaeda narrowly escaped capture after he was recognised by an off-duty CIA operative purchasing a Slurpee.

The operative's name has not been revealed to the media, however it appears that he was driving to New York from Washington DC to visit his grandmother, when he stopped at the Seven-Eleven just off the interstate. It seems that he recognised Bin Laden when he went to pay for his slurpee.

The operative left the store and immediately called for back-up. However, it appears that while he was waiting, Bin Laden's shift ended and when hundreds of CIA agents descended on the store, all they found was a teenager behind the counter eating a Mars Bar. While, according to the rosters, Osama was meant to return the next day, the sight of hundreds of CIA and military personnel surrounded the store must have warned him of danger, because he never reappeared.

Apart from being dressed in a standard convenience store uniform, Bin Laden' appearance had hardly changed since he went into hiding years ago. Security footage over the last two years shows that he still wore his trademark beard, and he generally kept a Kalashnikov behind the counter. His employer, Suam Singh, claimed that his appearance and possessions were not unusual. "Hey, it's a convenience store. If I was to get suspicious of every bearded, and armed, Middle Eastern man then how would I recruit any new employees?"

The Pentagon announced that it was disappointed that they came so close to capturing America's greatest enemy only to be beaten by a poorly timed roster. "It was a surprise that he was so close," Pentagon spokesperson Pam Jorgenson told the media. "Here we are running around Afghanistan getting shot at and he's in New Jersey selling Penthouses and soda. It just goes to show what a devious enemy we up against."

The customers of the convenience store generally expressed surprise when the identity of the store clerk was revealed to them. "He seemed a nice man. So quiet and well spoken," Beverly Willis said. "I bought milk from him every day and he didn't once try to blow me up. That's not the behaviour you expect from a terrorist."

The Pentagon and CIA have expressed doubt that Bin Laden will attempt to find work at any more American convenience stores. "His cover is blown," said Jorgenson. "But I'll be keeping my eyes open next time I'm shopping at Wal-Mart, if you know what I mean."


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Posted: 2006-11-24 02:12:25
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ok, so he tries to get an honest job, and gets this ? wonder what went throught his head!
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Posted: 2006-11-24 03:08:43
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I think i spotted him driving a mini cab in glasgow last week.
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Posted: 2006-11-24 13:03:59
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People have lots of time on their hands. Amazing!
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Posted: 2006-11-24 15:07:00
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right in front of you! but didn't get caught..
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Posted: 2006-11-24 15:32:16
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America should just admit that Osama is smarter then them. They cant catch him.
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Posted: 2006-11-24 16:23:59
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The US admitting to failure!! That's asking too much from the WORLD'S SUPERPOWER, the government's too arrogant to see it.

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Posted: 2006-11-24 17:47:00
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Is this actually a joke?

Kwiksta

EDIT: Yes it is hehe

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Previously ---> Tempsonyfreak

[ This Message was edited by: Kwiksta on 2006-11-24 17:31 ]
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Posted: 2006-11-24 18:30:21
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