Banks are on the verge of introducing drive-in cash machines. But according to an email we have seen, this is a more complicated procedure.

It seems that after months of research, male and female procedures have been developed. Customers will be urged to follow the appropriate procedure according to gender:

MALE PROCEDURE:
1.Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Roll down car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1.Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Roll down window.
4. Find handbag, tip all contents on to passenger seat to locate card. 5. Attempt to insert card into machine.
6. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
7. Insert card.
8. Re-insert card the right way.
9. Dig through handbag to find diary with PIN written on the inside back page.
10. Enter PIN.
11. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
12. Enter amount of cash required.
13. Retrieve cash and receipt.
14. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.
15. Drive forward two feet.
16. Reverse back to cash machine.
17. Retrieve card.
18. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
19. Drive for two to three miles.
20. Release handbrake.