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Can anybody tell me decent joke to enlighten my day?
I have just been sacked and need cheering up....
PLEASE!
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Posted: 2003-06-12 13:58:43
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man this a p800 thread.u wont find jokes in here. check the garbage thread you'll find allot there.no offense!
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Posted: 2003-06-12 14:02:50
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Here ya go mate. sorry to hear the bad news
>There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time
>they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the lights.
>
>Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she
>would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they
>were
>in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on
>the
>lights. She looked down ... and saw her husband was holding a
>battery-operated pleasure device... a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and
>larger than a real one. She went completely ballistic. "You impotent
>bastard," She screamed at him, "how could you be lying to me all of
>these years? You better explain yourself!" The husband looks her
>straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I'll explain the toy . . . you
>explain the kids."
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Posted: 2003-06-12 14:02:52
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Hard Luck Mate, hope you find something else soon. Here's another Joke:
A lonely spinster, age 70, decided it was time to get married.
She put an add in the paper that read:
"HUSBAND WANTED. MUST BE MY AGE GROUP (70s), MUST NOT BEAT ME,
MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED! ALL
APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON."
On the second day she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay,
she opened the door to see a gray-haired gentleman sitting in
a wheel chair. He had no arms or legs.
The woman said, "You're not really asking me to consider you,
are you? Just look at you..... you have not legs"
The old man smiled, "Therefore I cannot run around on you!"
She snorted. "You don't have any hands either!"
Again the old man smiled, "Nor can I beat you!"
She raised an eyebrow and gazed intently. "Are you still
good in bed?"
With that, the old gentleman beamed a broad smile and said,
"I rang the doorbell didn't I?"
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Posted: 2003-06-12 14:08:04
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Go to
www.myjokemail.com and
http://maddox.xmission.com/
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Posted: 2003-06-12 14:25:35
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or Read this
Three men, one American, one Japanese and one an Irishman were sitting
naked in a sauna.
Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The American pressed his forearm
and the beep stopped. The others looked at him questioningly.
"That was my pager," he said, "I have a microchip
under the skin of my arm."
A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese fellow lifted his palm
to his ear. When he finished he explained, "That was my mobile phone.
I have a microchip in my hand."
The Irishman felt decidedly low tech, but not to be outdone he decided
he had to do something just as impressive. He stepped out of the sauna
and went to the toilet. He returned with a piece of toilet paper
hanging from his behind. The others raised their eyebrows and stared at
him.
The Irishman finally said-------
"Well, will you look at that, I'm getting a fax."
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Posted: 2003-06-12 14:31:48
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why cant miss piggy count to 100?
>cos whenever she gets to 69 she gets a frog in her throat.
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Posted: 2003-06-12 14:52:00
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Nice jokes.......
keep em' comin
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Posted: 2003-06-12 15:03:52
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Two SARS bugs walk out of a bar. one says to the other-
"I could murder a chinese."
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Posted: 2003-06-12 15:11:54
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Oh mate, sorry bout the job - but what exactly did you do to get the boot?
Hope this cheers you up a lil though...
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog's cross-eyed, is there
anything you can do for him? " "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at
him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.
Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's
cross-eyed? " "No, because he's really heavy"
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Posted: 2003-06-12 15:12:44
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