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Hello one and hello all....

In a moment of uni-lateral thinking (dont know what it means but sounds good doesnt it?) i had the idea to tell u all the story of the last 4-5 weeks i have just encountered. WHY? i hear u shout! Well in that space i have managed to destroy 6 V800's... 5 of which i didnt drop, 1 i did drop....

Well it all started on the launch day of Vodafone Live! powered by 3G.... There i was, all happy to have my sparkly new V800 along with the 512Mb Duo Pro card i had bought for a knock down price.... For 8 whole days it was like a dream come true... I made calls, recieved calls... Listened to mp3's signed upto ESATO to find out how to have mp3's as ringtones and generally fell in love with the little beauty... That is until i was sat at home listening to the songs on my phone (i had only jus started to move into my new house so i didnt have my stereo).... it played through the first few songs of the album i was listening to and then nothing, not a peep or a note or a tune from the youthful singer... "thats weird" i thought to myself "but hey i'll just stick it on charge and that will b ok, its just the battery anwyay"... Anyway i popped the charger in but no light no sign no nothing at all... What had happened to my bundle of joy? Then the smell hit my nose. Its that smell of plastic that isnt too good when its coming from your phone.... PHONE NUMBER 1 BITES THE DUST!

PHONE NUMBER 2 lasted me all of 4 days before doing the same thing but this time whilst i was playing a game of minigolf... i was doin really well too which peed me off bigtime! PHONE NUMBER 2 BITES THE DUST...

PHONE NUMBER 3 started off well, working for about a week or so then i went out for a few drinks which inevitibly turns into me bein a mess and not bein able to walk or talk or hold anything properly... Anyway my phone found out the hard way that the floor was made out of concrete and that it didnt like to meet it at a reasonable speed... neither did ma head but it didnt break (well much)... YES i landed on my side an didnt realise that the reason my hip hurt so much was because my little phone had broken my fall but had broken itself... PHONE NUMBER 3 BITES THE DUST...

PHONE NUMBER 4 went the same way as my first....

PHONE NUMBER 5 was a good guy.... working like a charm till it went to sleep, never to awaken from its eternal sleep.... i blamed it on the pixies but they assured me that they hadnt gone on strike and that it was somethin internal.... i had enquired at the NLFPAW (National League For Pixies And Wizards) but they told me to speak to some snooty wizard who i dont like.... Anyway i upgraded my MW (MagicWare) to level 6 (this has the Ubitious Fairy upgrade, much more reliable) well it wasnt... it broke and under the terms of the new Fairy constitution i wasnt allowed to kill them so off they went happy, leaving me sadder than a sad thing with depression!

And finally PHONE NUMBER 6! the beautiful white V800.... well this phone hadnt broke... i had exchanged its brother jus the day before and i think in disgust for doing that he (it is a he... i can tell) has turned the world upside down for me by mixing the camera rotation thingy up which means all my pictures r upside down unless i turn the fone round....

I dont know why and i dont know how i am doing it but i am scared to touch any more phones because they dont seem to like me one bit.... Everytime i touch a fone i am waiting for it to explode and take my eye out in retaliation for what i have done to its brothers and sisters (i have had 4 phones of female sexuality and 2 of male)....

If i sound a bit mad thats because 6 phones down the line i am goin slightly mad... lol. maybe soon someone will bring a phone which likes me out and then maybe i will have a fone for longer than a week or 2....

I am going to drink maself stupid now so i b seein u all soon... Goodbye and Goodnight and Good Morning for tomorrow jus in case i aint here to say it tomorrow...

[ This Message was edited by: voda_jon on 2005-01-30 20:31 ]
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Posted: 2005-01-29 21:01:14
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unlucky mate... how much did all those handsets cost you (all together??)
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Posted: 2005-01-29 21:05:34
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I like the last part. Funny. (But dont push it.)
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Posted: 2005-01-29 21:10:00
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i avent paid for a single one.... got ma upgrade then jus got them exchanged each time

Bonus of workin deep within the bowls of HQ. OOPS! i didnt mean the last bit to sound like i wouldnt b here i.e. dead :S i meant that i wouldnt b in a fit state to talk or type or look at a bright screen.... lol.

[ This Message was edited by: voda_jon on 2005-01-29 22:24 ]
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Posted: 2005-01-29 23:20:08
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And the saga continues...so you got another victim up for destruction, i just hope it doesn't get pissed off with you !!!

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Posted: 2005-01-29 23:41:16
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it will, they always do... but i gonna make a positive out of all this negatives.... a new business whereby i destroy phones for money... maybe even become head phone destroyer at SE HQ.... imagine all new phones given to me an then destroyed and the FW re-Written coz it wasnt any good...

If it lasts longer than a week then its a fone they can sell without worrying about FW problems and whether it will break straight away...

Yes i see it now.... Voda_Jon's Phone Testing Laboratory.... Slogan could be....

PHONES THAT POP.... WE WILL DROP... PHONES THAT PING... NOW THATS ARE THING....

God i just realised how much i go on an on about things once i start typin... *memo to self, get the message across then stop*

Now where was i...... lol Goodbye.
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Posted: 2005-01-29 23:49:50
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Quote: ".... u know white is better than black...." I ask myself over and over in what sense???? and I surely hope you only mean it to your phones and not a specific race or colour...!
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Posted: 2005-01-30 20:59:09
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Nope, we have a genuine KKK member here. Of course he's referring to the phone .

Nick
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Posted: 2005-01-30 21:00:20
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sorry if it sounded like that... it meant phone wise.... an food wise.... not human race wise.... i am a multi cultural person, i've taken the line out of the post coz u make a very valid point marques...

now i am goin bak to mourning over my latest death...

_________________
IF YOU HAVE A PHONE YOU WOULD LIKE KILLED PLEASE PM ME WITH DETAILS....

OUR GUARANTEE... PHONES WILL DIE AFTER 1 WEEKS USAGE BY VODA_JON OR YOUR MONEY BACK!

[ This Message was edited by: voda_jon on 2005-01-30 20:31 ]
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Posted: 2005-01-30 21:12:11
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@nickorooster You act like racism doesn't exist.. Remember black people have been abused for many years and remarks like the one above doesnt help to ease the wounds.. When someone says "White is better than Black...and then goes on to try and justify it by saying "would you drink Black Milk or piece of black bread" that just makes me laugh...I am sure he didnt mean it that way and I am not taking it out of context...just making people aware..That if I noticed it then someone else surely would and probably would be more offended.
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Posted: 2005-01-30 21:18:18
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