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Why doesnt michael barrymore have any ashtrays in his house?
He throws his fags in the pool
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Posted: 2004-09-02 17:23:05
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The shortest joke:
A baby seal walked into this club...
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Posted: 2004-09-02 17:27:41
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have you seen stevie wonders wife? Neithers he!
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Posted: 2004-09-02 17:34:01
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A train hits a bus load of Catholic school girls and they all perish.
They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St. Peter.
St.Peter asks the first girl, "Tiffany, have you ever had any contact
with a male's privates?" She giggles and shyly replies, "Well I once
touched the head of one with the tip of my finger.
St. Peter says, "Ok, dip the TIP OF YOUR FINGER in The Holy Water
and pass through the gate."
St. Peter asks the next girl the same question, "Jennifer have
you ever had any contact with a male's privates?" The girl is a
little reluctant but replies, "Well once I fondled and stroked one."
St.Peter says "OK, dip your WHOLE HAND in The Holy Water and
pass through the gate."
All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls, one girl
is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the front
of the line
St. Peter says "Lisa! What seems to be the rush?"
The girl replies "If I'm going to have to gargle that Holy
Water, I want to do it before Jessica sticks her butt in it."
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Posted: 2004-09-02 17:54:14
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whats the difference between Australian soap opera Neighbours, and Prince Charles?
One has a mrs. Mangle, and the other has a mangled mrs. !!
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Posted: 2004-09-02 17:56:24
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while I know you're all trying to cheer up mince, just a friendly reminder about the real joke thread
Post Your funny Jokes Here
shame IÄm crap at telling jokes so I'll not bother to try!
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Posted: 2004-09-02 18:00:42
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Two sausages in a frying pan. One says "phew its getting hot in here!"
The other says "Wow! A talking sausage!"
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Posted: 2004-09-02 18:12:03
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Q: What do you do when your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you?
A: Shorten her chain.
Q: What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common?
A: They can both smell it but can't eat it.
Q: What's brown and sticky?
A: A stick.
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Posted: 2004-09-02 18:24:13
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Why are elephants big and grey, and elephant-shaped?
If they were small, white, and aspirin-shaped, they would be aspirins
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Posted: 2004-09-02 18:26:59
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off the back of a Wotsits packet...
what do you call a woman balancing a beer on her head and playing snooker?
beatrix potter
what goes "aaaaaaaa"?
a sheep with no lips!
Twista
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Posted: 2004-09-02 18:27:37
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