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What is a zebra?
26 sizes larger than an "A" bra.
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Posted: 2005-10-26 15:32:57
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@meths - My share, though NOT quite similar with the REST here . . .
Here are a few things to think over that you may never have thought about
Can you cry under water?
OF COURSE!
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
YOU HAVE TO BE TWICE AN ASS BEFORE YOU GET ASS ASS INATED.
If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
WELL MONEY IS PRINTED ON PAPER WHICH COMES FROM TREES SO MONEY DOES GROW ON TREES.
Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
BECAUSE CANS ARE ROUND, CAN ROUND CANS ARE EASIER TO OPEN WITH A CAN OPENER.
Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
THAT'S TAX FOR YOUR UNSOLICITED ADVICE.
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
NO EVERYONES NEKKID.
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
SQUARE BOXES ARE OUT, NOW THEY USE OCTAGONAL BOXES.
What disease did cured ham actually have?
IRONICALLY CURING DOESN'T DO ANY GOOD TO MAD COW MEAT.
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
IN ZERO-G THE WHEELS DON'T MATTER ANYWAY.
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
I WASN'T LIKE THAT WHEN I WAS A BABY.
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
YES AND NO.
If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
NO IT'S CALLED R&D.
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
CUZ IT'S REAL-TIME.
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE.
How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?
TO AVOID TIES.
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
TO GET YOUR FILE.
If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
MOMMY!
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
CUZ "BRAS" DOESN'T SOUND NICE.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
OF COURSE NOT! SILLY QUESTION.
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"
LOUIS PASTEUR.
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
BURNED TOAST IS USEFUL ANTIDOTE FOR ITS ABSORBENT QUALITIES ALA CARBON-FILTER, DIDN'T YOU KNOW THAT?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
NOT IN THIS CENTURY.
When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling?
YES SMILE, PRETEND YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG.
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
JIMMY WROTE IT.
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
NO A HEARSE IS STUCK TO 1ST GEAR ONLY.
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
HE DID, BUT THE SCRIPT WAS DUMBED-DOWN JUST LIKE IN HOLLYWOOD.
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
I TRIED THAT IN THAILAND, THEY THOUGH I WAS LOOKING FOR THE RED-LIGHT DISTRICT!
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
THEN PLUTO MUST BE A BITCH.
What do you call male ballerinas?
IN SPAIN THEY'RE CALLED BALLERINOS.
Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?
OF COURSE!
If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
HE DIDN'T BUY IT, IT WAS FINANCED BY THE PRODUCER.
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
YEAH MOTOR OIL IS MADE FROM MOTORS.
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
MORALITY COMES FROM THE SUPEREGO.
Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
YEA, THAT'S WHY I DON'T GO THERE.
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
YEAH IT TEACHES KIDS PLAIGIARISM AND PIRACY AT A YOUNG AGE.
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
I DIDN'T
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
METEOR WHEN OUTSIDE THE ATMOSPHERE, METEORITE WHEN INSIDE. GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT.
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
YOU HAVE BAD BREATH!
_________________
It's \ NOT /// !!! Look at it sideways !
[ This Message was edited by: Aikonoklast on 2005-10-27 06:18 ]
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Posted: 2005-10-26 16:25:06
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i get the impression you are infact JN because of your ridiculas over use of puntuation and your random CAPITAL words that pop up from TIME to time in all of YOUR posts
did you go to the same school?
_________________
DjCreamz
se-nse
Spurious Nonesense[ This Message was edited by: DJcreamz on 2005-10-26 15:29 ]
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Posted: 2005-10-26 16:28:36
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@aiko -
!
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Posted: 2005-10-26 16:32:38
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Luois Pastuer wasn't the first to squeeze the milk out of a cow he just was a pioneer with healthy food which has a higher economical value than sick food.
@JN & Aikono
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Posted: 2005-10-26 21:23:16
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Irreplacables may never be promoted.
This message was posted from a WAP device
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Posted: 2005-12-04 01:47:51
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Aikonoklast
Good ones
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Posted: 2005-12-05 04:18:35
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School : Dad pays and son plays. Insurance policy : keeps you poor whole life to make you rich on death.
This message was posted from a J300
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Posted: 2005-12-30 02:22:07
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Where apples are costlier: A doctor a day keeps an apple away.
This message was posted from a WAP device
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Posted: 2006-01-07 07:39:25
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Take as long as u like... just hurry up about it!
This message was posted from a WAP device
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Posted: 2006-01-07 07:51:15
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