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if it's me I'd stay quiet.
If she's marrying the guy, it means she cares about him (or at least should).
Telling her could ruin a marriage and/or ruin your friendship and/or ruin her life with confusing thoughts.
However she could always come running to you, but that would leave the other guy devistated.
It comes to you actually determining whether it's a risk you want to take.
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Posted: 2006-03-24 00:49:54
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If i were you i'd say quiet....
The stakes are very high for you....if things dont go well you might just end up losing a friend as well. Also as has been pointed out if she's marrying the other guy she must care for him and in that case its not your job as a true friend to mess things up for her now.
I know the prospect of living your life with a "what if?" sounds horrific but in this case i feel letting her go will be the best thing. Just enjoy your friendship and be there for her if she needs you..........
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Posted: 2006-03-24 01:14:30
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if i was you, i would just tell here, u'll regret it all your life. if she says no, then ur in the shits
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Posted: 2006-03-24 01:17:51
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wait til the wedding then break down in tears, sure that has worked for some of us in the past.
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Posted: 2006-03-24 01:25:57
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@linkin - I totally AGREE with Masseur here ! If the girl liked you . . . then your long-time of being friends will result to you both going STEADY now . . . though you still have other options left mate . . . if you want to become a HERO . . . wait for sometime until the two files for DIVORCE or go separate ways, then it's the TIME for you to ENTER the Dragon . . . Ooops, I mean the - SCENE, that will be just SAD though if they already have a kid after that
If you are planning to give her a Wedding Gift . . . might as well give it an EARLIER time . . . on the tag, write: "Congratulations my Dear Friend, How I wish that I WAS the Lucky Guy . . ." that's for her to think then.
Good Luck !
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Posted: 2006-03-24 02:38:16
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live with it man! set her free, is she comes back to you, then you are ment to be.
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Posted: 2006-03-24 04:13:06
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If You Want It, Take It!!!!
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Posted: 2006-03-24 07:37:40
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@Linkinpark17UK
It doesn't take Freud to work out that you are now considering telling this girl how you feel about her because you fear losing her. However, you must be careful not to act out of fear. If you act rashly through fear then you risk, not only not being with this girl in a romantic fashion, but also your friendship with her.
Has this girl every shown any romantic interest in you? If not then you may have to consider the possibility that she has no such interest in you. I am sorry to be so blunt, but that is the reality of the situation. You should ask yourself who telling the girl of your feelings would benefit? Of course there is the powerful argument of 'feint heart never won fair lady' and not having any regrets, but one should consider something else if one is looking down that path. Would you be telling her just so that you do not have regrets or because you genuinely felt that it was the right thing to do for the girl?
You must consider not only your own feelings, but those of others. How would the girl feel? If she doesn't reciprocate your feelings then you may both find your relationship becoming increasingly awkward because of your revelation until it comes to the point where your friendship deterioates. Would you be prepared to risk losing her completely and not even having her friendship? It may also affect this girl's husband to be. What if he learns of your feelings for his fiance? Perhaps your declaration might ruin their relationship and cause this girl to suffer if she looses the man she has chosen to be with. You must of course listen to your heart and do what you feel is best, but you must not forget to consider the consequences of your actions upon those around you.
Love, in my opinion, is wanting someone to be happy no matter what, even if it comes at a cost to one's self. You clearly care for this girl because you said that you wanted her to be happy, but you may have to accept that her happiness will come at the price of you being unhappy. If you truly love this girl then you will have to be prepared to let her go. Learn to let go of what you most fear to loose, in that way you will rid yourself of that fear and will enable yourself to see the best path forward unclouded by fear.
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Posted: 2006-03-24 09:50:09
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ive read through all these responses and all make sense really... I think that if you did go for it and tell her, you could still save your friendship by being really smart. If she says no, make it clear that all you want is for her to be happy, you only felt that you should tell her becuase how close you were and in a couple of months she'll be married and to say it then would of been much much worse. If you truely want her to be happy you'd take her decision (if it was not to be with you) and really make her feel comfortable with you after telling her. Then and only then must you discard your feelings for her and be a friend (be happy for her and her future husband)... But until then i dont think your feelings will disserpear for a long time.....
So if you do go for it, keep in mind that it may go wrong and that you will have to simply let go and be friends....
All the ebst in your decision
lee
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Posted: 2006-03-24 10:18:07
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same story with me 12 years ago. all u have to do is tell her ur feeling. just tell her! dont make the same mistake as i did! i regret it until now.
the most important thing that she must know ur feeling, Just tell her okay!
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Posted: 2006-03-24 10:28:00
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