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nickorooster Posts: > 500

Quote:
On 2005-03-31 09:39:24, gelfen wrote:
it helps if you know that hungry jack's is the aussie version of burger king, and if you know who john howard is....

speaking of - did you mean the PM or the actor?



What? There was an actor? Oh and I mentioned that HJ's was a WA version of BK...

Nick
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Posted: 2005-03-31 11:17:03
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Davo_169 Posts: > 500

ok i just wrote up the opening sequence for the story:

pm me i you would like to read it as i dont want to give it away openly on the net!
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Posted: 2005-03-31 11:28:41
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Davo_169 Posts: > 500

fine then,
no one be interested in how it all began
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Posted: 2005-03-31 12:02:47
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JK Posts: > 500

just post the damn thing!! if some1 steals we'll know you had it first....

BTW its not so original yet so theres no story to steal!!
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Posted: 2005-03-31 12:11:09
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Davo_169 Posts: > 500

here goes then

FADE IN:

INT. DAVIDS HOUSE, BASEMENT – DAY

Its early morning around seven or eight am, the camera pans around the room as we can see a basement and it looks like a bomb has hit it, there is for lack of a better word sh*t everywhere, empty pizza boxes, beer bottle, paper, rubbish, cans, a couple of things actually moved. As the camera makes its way round to the centre couch, we see ADAM, he looks very tired and hungover but still fights to concentrate on the television, we see the controller in his hand, he’s playing a video game and is getting really involved in it, turning the controller like a steering wheel and bouncing up and down with excitement. We hear.

GAME VOICE (V.O)
GAME OVER, YOU LOSE BUDDY!!

Adam is dumbfounded. He expresses his anger quite loudly.

ADAM
Oh come on! I was right there! Goddamn crash bandicoot, get the f*ck out of my way next time!!

About 3 heads pop up from behind the couch, very tired and hungover they peer over the couch at Adam, two of them give a quick uninterested glance at the TV and fall straight back down, but the other guy, MATT, gets up, shakes his head, wobbles a bit and jumps over the couch and sits down next to Adam.

MATT
Dude, do not worry about him, he’s a bandicoot, I mean; you could totally take a bandicoot.

ADAM
Yeah. (Beat)
Hey who are those other guys back there; I don’t think I know them.

They both look back. They see two random blokes spooning each other. Matt and Adam quickly spin around, puzzled about what they just saw.

MATT
Oh wait, aren’t they those dudes behind those other dudes in front of those hot chicks in our biology class.

They both don’t seem to bother about what the boys behind the couch are doing.

ADAM
Oh yeah, good call. (Beat)
Wait (pause) we do biology?

MATT
I think so, yeah I remember cos every second Friday we have that super hot lab assistant chick first period.

The boys both start thinking of the LAB ASSISTANT CHICK and are smiling and staring into space. Adam slowly tilts his head and sees the rather large south park calendar on the wall, it reads ‘FRIDAY’. Adam slowly turns around to Matt with a scared look on his what. Matt is still smiling cheesily when he sees Adams look of horror.

MATT
What dude?

ADAM
Sheehat nigga!

Suddenly the alarms go off on Adam’s and Matt’s phones.

CUT TO:

EXT. MORRISON ROAD – DAY

we can only see the top half of matt as we can see him riding as fast as he can, we can hear his bell dinging and in between we can hear the horn of another bike pretty close behind. Camera pans out and we see that matt is riding a little 16 inch pink girls bike, with the white basket and the pink ribbons etc. not only is he doing this, he is also towing Adam in a little red wagon attached to the back of the bike by duct tape. Adam is wearing a full face motocross helmet and has one of those hand held horn, he’s honking it like crazing and having lots of fun as Matt rides with all his might. The camera pans out even further and we can see that they are not going very fast at all; a little old grandma on an electric transporter thingy passes them with ease. Matt finally gives up and jumps off the bike, leaving it to go forwards by itself and eventually tips over sideways. Adam jumps out and is bouncing off the walls with excitement

ADAM
DID YOU SEE THAT, THAT WAS F*CKEN EXTREME!!

Adam runs around doing the metal mullisha sign to everything he sees. He takes off the full face and throws it into the air and gives out one final mighty scream

ADAM
I AM THE F*CKEN KING OF WAGONS, BOW DOWN TO YOUR LEADER.

MATT
Are you done?

ADAM
That’s right, you better recognise.


okay what do ya reckon

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Posted: 2005-03-31 12:19:50
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Davo_169 Posts: > 500

25 people browsing and no one has anything to say

i need feedback to grow as a writer!!
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Posted: 2005-03-31 12:33:55
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JK Posts: > 500

u not yet born as a writer!! not even a litl sperm !! mmm that was not so good....

my tips

1.crash bandicoot is like ps1....
2.put some girls in the room...
3.all that dude words - nope
4.when they wake up, smoke a boat
5.they in some1 rich kids penthouse apartment and their super sexy latina maid comes in to clean...
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Posted: 2005-03-31 12:41:37
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Davo_169 Posts: > 500

thank you for the feedback,

not too sure what type of movie your thinking im writing but nevertheless.

dont worry the chicks come in later on in the movie
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Posted: 2005-03-31 12:43:56
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JK Posts: > 500

ozzie kids and their voyage into manhood....

am i right??
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Posted: 2005-03-31 12:47:58
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DJcreamz Posts: 463

ur comments are a little harsh and a bit beyond constructive if i was your mother id give you a thick ear
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Posted: 2005-03-31 12:49:47
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