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It seems the gal doesn't loves you , and for a successful relationship its important that both are in love.... So its better you find some1........ Btw what's this topic doin here.. !!
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Posted: 2006-03-25 11:57:47
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@ Linkinpark17UK - well done mate, good on you. If she does seem really happy i wouldnt rock the boat. Like fatreg said, if her marriage isnt meant to be, it isnt meant to be and one day you might get a chance, but for the time being let her live her own life.
@ max_wedge - I could not agree more. The woman im so crazy about right now is exactly the type you described. All her friends are predominantly male, and its bizarre how they are all so easily wrapped around her little finger and walk around like lemmings doing anything she asks. She only ever got involved with me because she was impressed by how she couldnt charm me like the rest, and that i have stronger character, she found me more intriguing. Shes admitted to me aswel as it being obvious to everyone that she loves attention, and expects everyone to put themselves out for her.
Like you said, she expects me to always be there for her and do anything for her, yet when it comes to my needs she'll just tell me to shut up or say "dont start". I recently had a big fight with her, because she said she has better friends who care more - how can she say that when ive told her how i feel !? I told her she never appreciates anything i do for her, and im sick of it.
It all came to a head last night, we went out on the town and so did one of her best male friends (who ironically told her a while back hes in love with her, its pathetic watching him sit there staring at her like a loyal puppy while she really thinks hes just being a mate). I had to put up with constant abuse and digs from this guy, simply because he is her best friend, and that hes jealous because he has never been with her in the way that i have (hes told her he hates me), she sees him as a platonic friend only and has said she'd never see him as anything else. However, something in my mind clicked last night, i realised she'll never allow me to get as close as her best friend, or other friends and that she'll always keep me at arms length because of how i feel about her.
Therefore ive decided, instead of biting my lip around her so called best friend im not going to hold back anymore. If it means losing her because i end up fighting with him, verbally or physically so be it. Im not going to live my life like one of her royal lapdogs.
max_wedge, everything you have said is exactly what is happening to me right now, and im sick of it, its almost like you're living a carbon copy of my life. You're right, she is using me for emotional and financial support, yet whenever i tell her what i want she has no interest and will fall out with me if i try to tell her how im feeling.
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[ This Message was edited by: etaab on 2006-03-25 12:30 ]
[ This Message was edited by: etaab on 2006-03-25 12:32 ]
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Posted: 2006-03-25 13:30:20
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This reminds me of the movie My Best Friend's Wedding. Exactly the same scenario. In the movie it ends up horribly for the best friend and that's what I'd suspect it would be anyway. Just like what masseur said, if she had the same feelings she would have already told you.
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Posted: 2006-03-25 13:42:09
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@all: Am I at esato?????
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Posted: 2006-03-25 16:19:49
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On 2006-03-25 16:19:49, bombadil wrote:
@all: Am I at esato?????
yes you are at esato, but you are also in the non-mobile discussion where people can talk about anything they want to, so I feel there is no problem with a thread such as this
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Posted: 2006-03-25 18:42:19
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If she's getting married, probably it's family pressure or she's in love with someone already: if latter is true, it clearly negatives your possibility with her. But do ask yourself, are you really ready for this girl? Just falling in love is not enough you see; you must also foresee the consequences.
She might abandon this guy for you but probably not her family and their wish of seeing their daughter married. Could you marry her now if she wanted you to? Don't waste your time playing romeo (seeing her happy, you'd leave, etc) cause people are nowadays blind and cold to another's emotions.
If you want change, you must act and act fast. No one can help the situation any better than yourself. Besides, cheer up man. It's not the end. I wish you the best but if you don't make it through and still survive, take it as a test, from God, you passed only to make yourself stronger.
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Posted: 2006-03-26 03:38:42
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etaab, amazing coincidence. I can completely relate. You are doing the right thing by being assertive. I still don't know if my friend is going to come around or not, but I'm certainly not interested in a relationship where it's one sided. The funny things is she's really hurt, because I won't "support" her anymore. But apparently it's all my fault and it's up to me to continue being the strong silent type.
If she just gave me a little support, just a tiny little bit, I'd be there for her. I'm a pretty typical sort of guy and don't need a lot of emotional support, which makes it even more stupid that she can't even give the little I ask for occasionally. All her relationships are about what's in it for her.
Meanwhile she maintains a boyfriend who is never there for her emotionally at all, lives his own life (she can't stand that) and refuses to be bullied by her constant demands, but with whom she has great sex. Like I said, she doesn't know what she wants. Or more like this; she knows what she wants in a man, but thinks she can get a little slice of every different thing she wants from several different blokes, and meanwhile somehow ignore those parts of each bloke in her life that she doesn't like, and then not understand when all these blokes get the shits because she has no time for their needs.
Arghh! The stupid thing is, if she only let me rant on occasionally about my own problems when we talked (instead of it always being me listening to her rant), return the frequent massages I give her (even only ten percent of them), and here's the big one - let me talk to her about problems in our friendship without making out I'm just making things difficult for no good reason; if she could do those things I wouldn't have felt the need to start this cold war that's between us.
But I'm damned if I'm going to be railroaded by her anymore - it's her turn to think about it for a while. I'm so sick of thinking about how to keep her f..king happy and not lose myself in the process....my head hurts. So I'm looking after myself for now.
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Posted: 2006-03-27 00:32:37
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@linkin - Yeah . . . leave it as it is mate! Just always remember that the ratio is: 1:4 ! For every GUY there is an alloted 4 BABES
! This stats by the way was done in 1611 ! Good luck still . . .
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Posted: 2006-03-27 03:21:12
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Ask her out and if shge says no, burn SLUT! into her front lawn with some weed killer, then set fire to her garage. Works for me, anyway...
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Posted: 2006-03-27 03:28:54
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@linkin - By the way, Meths used to work in the Arson Division of the Fire Dept. !
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Posted: 2006-03-27 03:53:11
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